People Pleaser? Try this Inner Child Meditation

I got a dash of inspiration for this meditation after a good old Tapping session.  (Tapping is a fusion of eastern medicine and western psychology to clear emotional blocks).  I was tapping on “I hate marketing”… except that the words were ruder than that!!

Just below the meditation, there’s a bit more about the background to it if you’re curious (or just plain nosy like me!)

It’s called a Pieces to Peace meditation and The Pieces to Peace philosophy is a way of thinking for empaths and sensitives.  It’s to help us navigate the difficulties of living in a world that desperately needs healing when you’re super sensitive and can feel the pain.  As children, we learned to mold and shape ourselves to be liked more and accepted more.  The first people we wanted to be liked by were our parents or caregivers.  So we created a version of ourselves that we thought would get us more love and attention.

Communication in Childhood

The trouble with that “mask” version of ourselves is that a) it’s not who we really are, so we’re not really being loved, and b) we were never really sure what exact pieces of ourselves to put in it.  Adults have moods that change so on one day one part of us seemed OK and on another day it wasn’t.  Plus a lot of adults don’t actually communicate all that clearly with children, unless they’ve had to communicate with children on the autistic spectrum.   Then your communication has to be super clear because they generally take what you say literally!  That’s one of the beautiful gifts of autism – people on the spectrum force us to think more carefully and precisely about our communication.  For example – it’s not a great idea to tell a child with autism to “go to the toilet and wash your hands”.  I’ll leave you to imagine why…

The feedback from children with autism about our language is a wake-up call.  Without the straight feedback from them, it’s difficult to see just how confusing our language and instructions are for children.  We expect them to fill in a lot of gaps with background knowledge.  Like the toilet example above – to understand the instruction actually intended, you have to make leaps in logic because it’s not clear in the language alone what the adult wants the child to do.

Ego Love vs Soul Love

Translate that confusion into what parts of you please your parents and it’s easy to see why we can never really be sure what the “loveable” version of us is.  While children with autism give direct feedback, other children usually don’t.  You and I were in a state of trying to please the adults around us in childhood but we were never really sure what it was they wanted from us.

Add to that our empathic abilities and sensitivities which meant that we had a lot more information to deal with, and you’ve got a recipe for utter confusion and chaotic energy.   There’s also this vague sense that something’s not quite right with us.  We don’t belong and we’re not quite loveable but we can’t put our finger on why that is.

That’s ego love.  Molding and shaping yourself for someone else to love you and give you attention is people pleasing and it’s one of the ego’s tricks.  It’s incredibly unhealthy.  It can lead to poor boundaries, burnout, poor self esteem and low self worth.

On the other hand, soul love is pure love.  It’s the kind of love where we can relax into who we really are in any moment.

There’s no fear of what others will think.

There’s no anxiety.

There’s the ability to say “no” to things that aren’t in our best interest.

Above all, there’s so much more love flowing.  As you’ll experience in the meditation.

Outline Of The Meditation

After relaxing your body and mind, I take you to a beautiful place in nature and remind you that you’re in control of what you imagine and can make any changes you wish to make it even more beautiful and even more safe.  Then you’ll bring in your inner child to help.  You’ll see your earthly self as lots of little pieces.  We’ll explore what happens to those pieces in ego love and then explore what happens in soul love, so you can REALLY feel and experience the difference.

A Final Note…

Oh and you can probably see why a meditation like this would come to be after tapping on “I hate marketing”.  Marketing in its fear-based ego form can be like creating a mask of yourself to get potential clients to like you.

In it’s love-based soul form, marketing is about showing the world who you really are and how you can help solve problems.  Then letting that be the basis for building trusting relationships with people you can help.   <3

I’d love to know how you get on with the meditation.  The best way to catch me is through my Facebook page:

With love

Jacqui xxx