Today I’m feeling a fair amount of anger at the number of lies and manipulations out there both in politics and in the business world. And probably other areas too, but these are the areas where I’m really noticing it.
In my silent minute videos the past couple of nights, I’ve commented on how people have voted with good intentions. And at the same time, I’m seeing so clearly how manipulation, lies and smearing have worked with many people’s minds too. I chatted with a Thetahealing friend about how this was something I was trying to bring balance to in my own mind. I know that unless you accept someone fully where they are and seek to understand where they’re coming from without judgment, you have practically zero chance of being able to have any intelligent, exploratory discussions where you could learn from each other. And even at that, I’ve been badly burned when I tried to discuss rationally with a heavily right-wing voter and seek to first understand why they vote as they do before sharing my own views.
Underneath The Lies
But underneath it all, I suspect it’s really traumatised minds polarised into choosing one or the other and needing to create enemies of differing views. Trauma is unhealed psychological wounding. It’s when someone is taken to the edges of life and death or an extreme feeling of being rejected from the tribe and then didn’t have a safe space for natural trauma healing abilities of the body and mind to kick in. Animals in the wild will shake off highly charged events, but humans have largely lost our natural abilities to shake it off. And unhealed trauma often leaves an inner sense of shame about who you are and a vague sense of not being safe and secure in the world. So you look for external certainties and things like status, money, a house or a car – or a political party seeming to offer security – to try to deal with that background feeling of insecurity.
Unhealed trauma splits your consciousness into “us and them” and exaggerates the wounded child within. The wounded child wants to be all-powerful so that s/he will never feel vulnerable and unsafe again. But that split in thinking stops us seeing our shared humanity too. It has us placing too much focus on seeking adulation and external metrics of success to mask the uneasiness and insecurity inside.
Trauma and Narcissism
Narcissism is strongly related to this. Narcissus is so captivated by his external image that he ends up dying from being obsessed with it. Narcissism is a need to create a strong distraction from deeper truth of how ashamed, vulnerable and broken you really feel inside. And that distracting image gets preserved at all costs – through lies, smears and manipulation. True connection with truthful, authentic communication would be just too painful.
When I was working more directly with narcissism, I always wondered why it was so hidden in plain sight. And I think it’s because the vast majority of people have experienced trauma and loss to some degree that hasn’t yet been healed or acknowledged. It’s so much easier to create a mask of pretending everything is fine than it is to really go there and feel the not-OKness inside left from past traumatic events and losses. I know from personal experience that one particular traumatic event was the root of my own recurring problems, but at the same time, my mind had a lot of defences around the wounding to try and keep me safe and they took time to dismantle. Until I went right into the wound, I was looking for the external metrics of success and a business that I didn’t need to give 100% of myself to.
More Than Spirituality
The spiritual path is about more than spirituality. It’s about going deeper into our inner worlds to heal those deeper wounds. Coming to peace with the idea that we can’t really control anything, but we don’t need to because something so much more intelligent is working through us. It’s about noticing our own masks and shadows and taking ownership of them at the root. It’s unhooking from the dramatic stories our minds make up and feeling into the truth of situations instead.
It’s about getting out of the head where we’ve learned to retreat to feel a bit safer and instead reconnecting with our true nature. Experiencing the full range of emotional flow in response to life events – grief, shame, rage, anger, hatred, fear, contentment, joy, happiness. Connecting with our natural healing abilities to right the wrongs of the past and re-connecting with natural abilities like creativity, intuition, empathy and holding safe space for each other.
My post started with anger, but the anger was leading me inwards to deeper wisdom and messages that wanted to be shared today. A deeper compassion for the roots of the lies we experience.
You can lie to the mind and get away with it, but the heart, soul and body know the truth. Having the courage to connect with truth is an act of self-empowerment.