Learning To Love Miserable Me

  • jmcginn 

Being miserable is not something many people would associate with me. It’s funny how we can be perceived in one way but deep inside the polar opposite aspect exists. When I lived in Japan, people would describe me as “Akarui” (cheerful and bright in Japanese). I was even given a performance slot called “Happy, Lucky Jacqui Time” at a special needs school I worked at!! But for someone into wholeness as much as I am, I was going to have to embrace the piece of me that could be miserable, sooner or later. The opposite of that Happy, Lucky, Cheerful persona.

I don’t believe we’re here just to experience all the “positive” emotions. We’re here to experience the whole spectrum of emotion – misery, sadness, joy, happiness, anger, rage, contentment. And find the peaceful centre that lies at the heart of our true being. When we judge, condemn or criticise any pieces of ourselves, we’re not fully living. It doesn’t mean that we have to stay stuck in misery or anger, but it does mean that we don’t discount them from our human experience.

I was pretty attached to my cheerful persona. I’d get compliments on my smile. My cheerfulness would make people happy. So to get love and attention, I’d keep up the cheerful, smiley, laughing mask. But all the while, the piece of me that wanted to experience misery was doomed to stay locked up in the depths of my psyche. That cheerful persona was such a strong part of my identity that I completely rejected misery. And in rejecting misery, I was rejecting a piece of myself.

The Law of Attraction and Misery

The Law of Attraction teachings helped me to reject it and bury it even more. Misery wasn’t going to fit in the “positive vibe” model I was creating. I’m not blaming the Law of Attraction teachings – I know there’s truth in them. There’s just a piece of a bigger picture of spirituality. Perhaps you can relate to relate to trying too hard to be positive?

Now I see the Law of Attraction as a spiritual teacher who helps me reflect on what I’m creating and what I’m avoiding in my world. When things haven’t been going the way of my dreams and visions for a long time, I take a look at my inner world. Rejecting misery was at the heart of a lot of problems I was experiencing in my life.

Misery’s Paradox

It’s quite a paradox that accepting, loving and welcoming home my misery could lift my energy and vibration. But it’s true. Like anything that’s ignored and rejected, it grows stronger and more powerful in the shadows – desperate to be seen, acknowledged and loved for what it is.

My rejected misery was bringing me gifts the whole time. It taught me compassion. It taught me more about joy and happiness. And the tension between my accepted happiness and my rejected misery took me on a deep journey of inner exploration. I cleared out tons of old, stuck emotion and limiting beliefs while I struggled to find the source of my stuckness. I grew capable of holding the space for others to experience big emotions.

So, the little buried, rejected piece of me was a gift waiting for me to open it. To treasure it and to love it – exactly as it is.

What piece of yourself can you welcome home too? What gifts do you think it might bring with it?

If you’d like to explore this idea of being made of up “pieces” more, I’ve been beavering away at creating a new hub of Pieces to Peace freebies where you can explore and bring them into your life. Just go to: https://jacquimcginn.vipmembervault.com/teaser/courses/view/1to sign up to the subscriber hub.