You’ve studied all the marketing techniques.
You know the principles behind it.
You’ve done the ideal/perfect client worksheets.
You know in your heart that what you do is a real gift and there are people out there who would really benefit from what you do.
But you just can’t seem to get a coherent marketing plan together no matter how hard you try and you feel that you don’t have enough clarity to go to a marketing professional for help either.
You probably know about limiting beliefs and have shifted loads of them and you know the law of attraction principles but your marketing plan just won’t come together.
If you’ve been in a narcissistic or highly controlling relationship, the chances are – that’s the reason. And it’s your unconscious mind protecting you from what it thinks might be harmful. Later I’ll explain why a past narcissistic relationship will interrupt your marketing but first of all, let’s take a look at what a narcissistic relationship is.
What is a narcissistic relationship?
On the most basic level, it’s a relationship where one person is unable to think about the needs of the other and they have a chronic need to be more special. Often this can actually be abusive and highly manipulative. A narcissistic person can be a master of subtle control so it can be very difficult to spot and the control can actually seem really nice – for example a partner who sweeps you off your feet with an amazing romantic dinner but it was when you had plans to do something else. It’s been compared to a frog being in a pan of water on the stove. The temperature gradually hots up and it barely noticeable for a while and then when the frog realises it’s too hot, it’s too late. That level of subtle control, repeated over time does a lot of damage to your self esteem and your self worth.
Not only that, but to stay in a narcissistic relationship long term means you need to shut down your heart so that you don’t feel the constant subtle emotional pain. And that is how those experiences and their wounds can block your marketing.
The Heart of Marketing
Marketing is really about building trusting relationships with your ideal clients and near ideal clients. Being a spiritual, heart-centred and caring business owner, you really want to connect from the heart with your audience, but when your heart is clogged up with unhealed wounds and unfelt emotions, it doesn’t leave space for that calm, true connection with your clients’ heart. You need a full, true connection with your own heart first.
That block in connection with your heart can block the connection with people who come across you through your blogs and social media posts. You’re probably creating a persona or a mask to protect your heart. But that means that you’re not showing up as the full, beautiful you that you are and your clients can’t really see you.
Now perhaps connecting in person is easier because you know who you’re dealing with. But for a wider reach, connecting with your audience via your blog or social media post is ideal. But that distance means there’s always that gamble over who will actually read it. You want the perfect clients to read it but how do you stop getting overwhelmed by all the wrong people reading it who might potentially gaslight you and manipulate you and shame you. These are very real fears for someone who’s been through what you have. The feeling of not having control over who you’re connecting with triggers that same lack of power over how the narcissist will interact with you. When they’re faceless people out there and you want to share your heart and soul with clients, is it any wonder that you might sabotage yourself to stay safe? After all, if your heart and your dreams were treated so badly by someone who was supposed to love you, why would you trust putting your work out there to potentially attract more of the same?
So how do you heal it?
The simple answer is that you trust your heart and release all the gunk that’s built up in it. Is that easy? Hell no! That’s why I was given the heart-healing gifts that I have and have had to go through plenty of experiences to sharpen those gifts up – so I can help sensitive, introverted and spiritual business owners like you to connect back with your heart, to trust it, to trust its truth and to have the whole heartspace at hand to put your unique energy frequency and signature into your marketing (and your whole business) Then your soul tribe will really recognise when they’re being called.
As a first step, I’ve created a relationship healing meditation to help you strengthen your heart and remember that you and any other person you’re having trouble with are so much more than your human selves. (Well, when I say “created” the meditation, I actually downloaded it from a place of inspiration! ) <3. Click HERE to access the meditation.