Listening To The Soul’s Whispers


The Sacred Messenger (Photo by James Hammond on Unsplash)

Challenges can certainly change us.  Synchronicity can show us the way our souls want to go.

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks locked to my computer with the odd bit of meditation and walking to get my submission in for the Hay House Writer’s Workshop competition deadline.   This book has certainly taken me on a journey, that’s for sure.  It’s taken me to places I never expected to go and I feel more complete and whole for it.  If you have an urge to write a book…do it, do it, do it!

When I first envisioned the book (and I was much less psychologically healthy than I am now!), I thought it would be an inspiring love story of eastern boy meets western girl – the reverse of John and Yoko – to inspire peace in modern times.   I can’t actually think of any romantic relationship that has inspired anything more than dreaming of happy ever after now?!  But the peace bit and relationship bit were actually on the right lines for where the book is ending up.

Since then, the book idea has taken me to all kinds of places I never expected to go.  All of the things I’ve struggled with have been pieces of the message in the book.  One of my biggest struggles was romantic relationships.  I studied my arse off to understand how I needed to be showing up to manifest the kind of relationship that I wanted.  But in the process of learning how to manifest a romantic relationship, I lost a lot of anxiety and saw the patterns of control that were running my life.

Last year the book wanted me to explore narcissism because it’s a problem hidden in plain sight and my biggest relationship challenge was from a narcissistic relationship.  All of the study helped me created a programme that can help people find peace in their hearts again after experiencing narcissistic relationships.  The more I helped others, the more I healed myself.

Then the book wanted me to explore money and abundance – 2 more aspects I’ve struggled with.  Money and abundance problems contain an awful lot of limited thinking and stuck emotions.  So by leaning into money and abundance blocks, we can actually clear out the heart and limited thinking to make more space for the soul.

Earlier in the year, I was going to call the book “Badass Spirituality” to try and playfully show the courage, strength and sense of humour you need to go deep into the heart to heal it.   But then synchronicity kept guiding me back to the more gentle and subtle roles I have outside of my business – like Japanese teacher and special needs teaching assistant.  These roles aren’t badass, they require a lot of subtlety.

The deer picture is because that was one of the symbols that popped up to remind to go back to grace and subtlety, rather than in-your-face badassery.  I bought some new oracle cards and pulled cards with deer on. And there’s a story behind the significance of that – as there always is with cool synchronicity.  One of my Japanese students at a sixth form I worked at told me she thought my daemon (from the book “Northern Lights”) would be a deer because I was graceful.  Well, I didn’t have an image of myself as graceful then and I don’t have an image of myself as graceful now(!) but if that’s how a teenage girl describes me, then I must give off that kind of gentle vibe.  So not very badassery at all!!

The deer on the oracle cards was a little sign to think again about my title.  My philosophy I’m developing through the book is called “Pieces to Peace” which came to me the day that teenager told me that.  And I happened to end up sharing that story with Robert Holden at his “Loveability” talk as one of my lovely things that had happened that day.  It was on the way home from that talk that I got that name.

So with that memory stirred in my unconscious mind, I dropped the badass and in the end called the book “Beautiful Pieces”.  I didn’t use “Pieces to Peace” because there’s already a book called “Peace from Broken Pieces”.  And besides, I kind of like beautiful pieces.  The essence of “Pieces to Peace” is to value the smaller pieces that make up the bigger whole, whether that whole is our lives, our human selves or the bigger whole that is humanity.

Each piece of the whole is beautiful in itself.

What I’m really saying is that a soul-led book will take you on a journey through your life and if you go off track, synchronicity will gently guide you back to your truth.  Life is always guiding us to be the truest, wholest and most authentic version of ourselves.

What synchronicity have you experienced recently?

What is your soul whispering to you? <3

 

The Shadow’s Gifts

The Shadow
Photo by Jaanus Jagomägi on Unsplash

My shadow came out.

It wasn’t pretty.

The shadow is the all the parts of ourselves that we’ve decided are unacceptable and try to stuff down out of our awareness.  But the shadow is a tricky bugger and sooner or later it will blast out from our constraints.  The late Debbie Ford called this the “beach ball effect”.  Each piece of ourselves that we try to suppress is like a beachball held under water – it takes huge amounts of energy to keep it there.  And one day when we’re tired or exhausted or stressed out and we can’t hold all of the beachballs down, they will shoot up and smack us in the face.

I’ve written this post about my experience and in the first person, but my intention is to help you connect with your own shadow self too and because that can be a daunting, overwhelming and scary idea, I’ve used “I” and “me” instead of “you”.  I do hope that this inspires you to know the gifts in your own shadow and to take a little time to explore what your shadow might be trying to tell you when one of those beach balls pops up and smacks you in the face.

The other night my beachballs smacked me in the face.  A good hint to the shadow is something that we’re really proud of in ourselves.  I’m really proud of the patience I’ve developed.  I’m really proud of the compassion I’ve developed.  I’m really proud of my ability to hold sacred space for emotional truth.   All of these really help me create the kind of space that allows for deep healing and coaching to happen.

But it’s a truth that just like yin contains yang and yang contains yin, for each element of myself that I’m proud of, I also carry the opposite in my shadow.  So my lack of patience and lack of compassion and lack of sacred space and lack of emotional truth shot out from my psyche and had me become a shouty, mean bitch.   The polar opposite of what I am in my sessions with clients.  Oops!!

And actually, that’s a good thing.  Shouty mean bitch Jacqui was probably suffocating under water and needed some air.  She’s also helping me to realise some deep and uncomfortable truths about myself and how I’ve been sabotaging my success.  And besides, she’s there all the time in the sacred space I create anyway, so inviting her wisdom in means she can add depth and help support the sacred space I like to create.

A Matter of Time

The shouty mean bitchiness came from being totally fed up of having my time wasted and messed about by someone else.   Now I know the signs that I’m in my shadow – I can’t feel my body, I’m in my head, I’m blaming someone else…  if I start trying to sort out and talk through any problems from that space, I’m not going to get very far.  Do you fancy trying to sort out a problem with someone who is blaming you alone for it?  Nah, didn’t think so!  While I’m in that blaming space, I’m being a victim, so I will cast others in roles that keep me as the powerless victim.

I knew that my own sense of  “urgh” and disconnection between my head and body meant that I had some investigative work to do to get out of victim mode.  The other day I was chatting to a colleague about the time problem that had triggered my mean, shouty bitch self.  As me and my colleague talked, we both started realising that our relationship to time was off.  We have an abundance of time and there are so many things that we could do each day to help our businesses, but we end up wasting loads of time on social media and let other people take our time from us.  We both admitted that we’re allowing people to take time from us.

So, we both vowed to explore what was going on with this time stuff and share with each other what we learned.  I found this interesting article on time on the Psychology Today website.  I felt pangs of discomfort and as I read and realised that basically, my wasting time is a disempowering choice I’m making.  It’s an unconscious sabotage to keep things as they are and not step into my light and my true power.  It’s fear and survival based living rather than love and abundance based living.

I need to take back my power, clear up any beliefs or emotions keeping me stuck in powerless victim mode and own my moment-to-moment choices about what I do.  I can dream big and create big visions about the future, but I have to commit moment by moment, piece by piece to making those dreams and visions a reality.

Valuable Pieces of Peace

It’s all valuable material for the book I’m writing and philosophy I’m (kind of) creating and living.   When I say “kind of creating”, it’s because I’m not really creating it, it’s an idea from somewhere in the ether working its way into my consciousness.  If you’ve ever read “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert, it’s like the way she describes the mysterious way ideas choose a human to come through.

The idea that chose me is called “Pieces to Peace” and the intention behind it is to help people recognise the value of each piece of themselves and the vital roles each person plays towards creating peace in our communities and globally.  Each of us is a vital piece of a greater whole.  Embracing the shadow is an important part of the philosophy because we often see our own shadows in other people and then think the person we’re projecting our shadow onto is the scum of the earth who should be destroyed – you can see how that kinda messes up peace, can’t you?  Not only that but when we stop projecting the shadow onto others and look inside ourselves to find its message, we can find it leads us to valuable gifts, blessings and realisations.

Mean, shouty bitchface Jacqui was simply trying to get my attention about how I’m spending my moments of time.  She yelled at my partner but it was really me that she was yelling at.  Like trying to shake me awake to see what I’m doing with the precious pieces of my life – the moments of each day.  I’ve been throwing away so many precious moments where I could let myself feel more alive and feel more connected to source energy and be more present.

If that piece of my shadow hadn’t popped up and smacked me in the face, I’d continue to throw away valuable pieces of my life each day.  It’s me and me alone who choose the quality of the moment.  The truth is that I’m 100% responsible for how I choose to be in each piece or moment of my life.

And so are you.  So how are you spending the precious moments of your life?  Are you fully present or do you let others take your time?  <3

Exploring Pieces to Peace More

In my explorations of this Pieces to Peace idea, a beautiful meditation process came to me.  It helps you to accept all the pieces of yourself by seeing them as a beautiful mosaic and holding that mosaic in your heart space.  The meditation then invites you to heal a difficult relationship you’ve experienced by seeing the other person in the same way.  The meditation is a free gift to subscribers of my mailing list and you can access it on this page: Get Your Free Relationship Healing Meditation.

The Power of Thinking In Smaller Pieces

Here’s a fabulous little article about transforming your thinking from setting big goals and breaking them down to setting small goals and building them up.

The Pieces to Peace philosophy is an idea that’s been working its way into my conscious awareness.  If you’ve read Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Big Magic”, you’ll know how ideas have a way of choosing you.  That’s what Pieces to Peace has done with me.  It’s a big idea, but it’s teaching me to think small so it can be big.

Anyway, here’s the article and I hope it brings ahas for you too!

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lewishowes/2012/07/06/why-thinking-small-is-the-secret-to-big-success/#7dd591861f8b

Psychic Healers Tolerate Bad Behaviour Longer

Being a psychic healer means you know and feel the pain behind appalling behaviour. You know why someone constantly puts you down. You know why they call you names and make absurd accusations. You know why they have to deny the truth.

Because you can see, feel, hear, know or sense the pain underneath their fragile self esteem and the healer part tries not to give up on them, always hoping for better days.

You know why they go into their heads and shut off from their heart. You know why they feel they have to justify their own rightness. You know why they try to shame you into feeling socially unacceptable. You know why they need to you feel disempowered.

Because you can see, feel, hear, know or sense the pain that keeps them feeling powerless and afraid of their heart.  And you know things can be different.

Yes, they deserve our compassion and love on a soul level. That wounded inner child desperately needs love and attention.  As a child they deserved so much more than they got.

But now, you deserve your compassion just as much, if not more. You inner child deserves to be in relationships that offer safety, playfulness, happiness and nurture.

Let the healer in you work with people who are ready and willing to change their lives and who respect your ability.  Get yourself away from the presence of people who drag you down, bully, shame or blame you.

By all means, send them love.  But do it from afar. Keep your highest healer vision of love alive. But do it from afar.
Thank them for all they taught you about what love isn’t. But do it from afar.
Forgive them for their mindless behaviour.  But do it from afar and do it for your own happiness.

Yes, you have a shadow and you need to know yours. But don’t let their shadow, their projections and their psychic attacks lead you to believe that you ARE their shadow. You’re not.
You can’t control what people see in you. You can control whether you allow yourself anywhere near their energy.

Save your beautiful, caring, broken, mended, courageous healer heart for people who see it and acknowledge it.  Surround yourself with people dreaming bigger, being truthful, soaring high, lifting you up, living in alignment and taking responsibility for their lives and their own healing.

Live your life as the example of what psychic healing can actually do, not what it could potentially do.  Don’t be a victim in someone else’s drama. Be a divine co-creator of your life. <3

(My relationship healing meditation can help you remember the bigger you in relationships and separate yourself from the problems people have.  It’s a gift for signing up to my mailing list where I’ll send you more reminders of who you really are <3 You can access it here. )

Thoughts, Emotions and Healing The Heart

“The thorn is always in your heart; it’s just not activated until something touches it.  You feel the reaction as a hollowness or a dropping sensation in your heart.  If feels very uncomfortable…Stored energy from the past releases from the heart and generates thoughts.”

Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

Many mindset books would have us believe that thoughts create feelings.  But from what I’ve found, feelings have a life of their own independent of thought.  Our minds can latch onto emotions and twist their helping, healing powers into all kinds of stories.  To change the thoughts and carry on with how we are is to ignore a valuable opportunity for healing the heart.  

When discomfort comes up, it means we’re feeling safe enough to release that old, trapped part of ourselves.  By being able to sit with it and not think it away or energy heal it away, we can bring back a lost piece of ourselves and gradually return to our true, authentic power.  As the heart’s blocks get cleared, a pathway opens up for more of the soul.  

The more of the soul that can flow into our lives, the more we can bring heaven to earth – not just for ourselves, but for everyone.

So cherish those moments of discomfort and pain, they are vital healing messages from the soul through the heart.  Holding them and giving them space allows the light of your soul to shine through them. <3 

The Power of the Heart

There have been some powerful energies and shifts going on this year, haven’t there?  I’ve been riding them and clearing out the old to welcome in the new.  My latest shifts have come from reading “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer.  What a POWERFUL and insightful book that is.  I’m only halfway through and already it’s changing my whole energy and outlook and it’s even helped me understand what I actually do with my clients!  I can’t recommend the book enough.

Now it may sound obvious that I should really know what I’m doing with clients – sure I’ve been trained in ThetaHealing, Esoteric Healing and oracle card reading, but what I REALLY do with clients goes beyond what I’ve been taught on those courses.  You see, I feel powerful energy moving while I work with a client and I intuitively know that I need to witness it moving and help it flow on by.  All of the tools I’ve learned are all ways to help this energy shift to happen.  Then clients feel a lot better and lighter afterwards.  And if I don’t feel the shift during a session, more than likely they will experience some kind of emotion that lasts for a day or so and then leaves.  Thanks to Michael Singer’s wisdom, I now understand what is happening and I can share it with you.

Every time we don’t feel an emotion fully and let it flow, it gets stuck in our energy system and causes a block.  Over time, these blocks build up until we get to a place of being numb to our emotions – our heart puts walls up.  In childhood, we’re taught that certain emotions like anger or sadness, aren’t acceptable and we’re encouraged to hide them.  That’s when our training begins.  And then when we enter the education system, we’re taught that the intellect is more important than the heart.  We have to hide and stuff down everything we’re feeling so we can focus on Maths and English and all the other academic, “important” subjects.

The trouble is, that’s not our natural state and you can’t shut your heart to some emotions and expect to feel full joy or happiness.  You need full anger and sadness to experience full joy and happiness.  And life has a way of throwing curveballs at us in an attempt to smash through those blocks to the heart.  Breakdowns, bereavement, illness, abusive relationships, highly imbalanced political leaders – things like these can be life’s attempts at reopening our closed hearts.

It can be so easy to blame outside situations, but in reality, the most empowering and freeing thing we can do is to go into our own hearts and let them release old, stuck emotions.  And that’s where someone like me comes in – by having tools to help the emotions flow in a safe space, we can gradually unlock the heart to its full potential so we can experience the fullness of what life have to offer.  Richer relationships, more fulfilling jobs, more of the good feeling emotions and all of this regardless of what’s happening in the outer world.  And ironically, we can think more clearly, creatively and intuitively when we’re allowing emotions to flow fully.  The head works better when the heart is fully engaged.

How is your heart doing?  How open do you let it get?  What would life be like if you let it open to full capacity?  I’ll leave you to give these questions a ponder. <3

Narcissism, Psychopathy, Chakras and Astrology – phew!

Here’s an interview I did with astrologer, numerologist and reiki healer Walter Boyd of Rainbow Path to Wholeness .  Walter had started a fascinating thread on Facebook about his observations of what was going on in the chakras of psychopaths he saw in a TV documentary.  So I wanted to explore that more with him.

The discussion evolved into one about astrology and I have to say that I feel like I understand the benefits of astrology so much more thanks to Walter’s clear explanation.  His deep knowledge of the subject shines through.

Surprisingly, this was Walter’s first video and he was nervous about doing it.  You wouldn’t know from watching it!  But since I used to be a GCSE Japanese teacher,  I had to calm down stressed out teenagers when they were doing their speaking exams, so I’m quite used to recording nervous people and getting the best out of them!  Who knew doing Japanese speaking exams would give such valuable experience later!!

This is a fairly long video (35mins) so grab a cuppa, relax and enjoy it!  🙂

Do  you know your soul? 

Do you know anger?

Do you know sadness?

Do you know fear? 

Do you know your fears? 

Do you know your hopes?

Do you know joy?

Do you know peace?

Do you know shame?

Do you know rage?

Do you know hurt?

Do you know heartbreak?

Do you know grief?

Do you know your heart’s deepest desires?

Do you know what makes your heart sing? 

Do you know how your soul speaks? 

Do you know the truth of who you are?

8 Ways to Set Boundaries To Protect Yourself From Manipulative People

In my last blog post, I posted 8 signs you’re being manipulated and said that I would write a post on how to set stronger boundaries.  Here are 8 ways to do that and suggestions on ways to help you do them.

  1. Trust, trust, trust your intuition and your heart over your head.  Trust your gut feelings and knowing.  They’re always right.  I have a meditation to help you practice connecting with your heart here .  The more you connect with your heart and soul, the more you can connect with your intuition and listen to your gut feelings.
  2. Get to know your own emotions so that you recognise which are yours and which belong to someone else.  If you’re sensitive, you’ll pick up on other people’s emotions.  Your emotions (particularly the ones from your heart and soul) have a very different feel from other people’s.  Insecure people may put up a front of being confident and in control, but they project their own feelings of insecurity onto you to manipulate your feelings and hide their own insecurities.  Foreign emotions in your body and energy can’t flow and you can never get to the true message they are trying to convey.  Healthy anger alerts you to when someone is violating your boundary and is telling you to take action to protect yourself.  (Anger in its healthy, flowing form is assertiveness.  Unhealthy anger is uncomfortable and often uncontrollable.)  Karla McLaren has fantastic explanations of each of the emotions and here is her fantastic explanation of anger.
  3. Notice when guilt arises and disengage from the conversation.  Guilt is a social weapon of choice against, caring, sensitive, empathic types like you and me.  You start feeling guilty because of their problems when there is very little you can do to solve anyone’s problems, let alone theirs.  Sharing problems in a safe space with people who allow each other to be vulnerable safely is entirely different from one-sided sharing of problems that cuts off vulnerability and authenticity.  The latter kind of problem sharing will inevitably make you feel guilty, never good enough and like you’re the cause of the person’s problem.  Someone who shuns responsibility for their problems and instead blames others for them cannot be helped until they take ownership of their own problems.  If you notice the guilt arising, politely remove yourself from the conversation.  Do step 5 to make sure their energy is gone from your system.
  4. Beware of “poor me” games.  Often you will notice guilt arising too but it’s useful to spot the onset of the “poor me” game before you notice guilt.  In the Celestine Prophecy, we’re introduced to the idea of control dramas, which are ways of controlling other people to get energy flowing to us.  The antidote, according to the book, is to have such a strong connection to source energy that you can bring the underlying control into the light of awareness and the drama stops.  With a regular person, this may be the case, but with a particularly manipulative or controlling person like a narcissist, you’re not dealing with the same constitution and this just won’t work unless you are at Jesus/Buddha/enlightened master level of consciousness.  The “Poor me” drama (and the other control drama patterns of aloof, intimidator and interrogator) is used simply to manipulate you into giving your time, attention and energy to their needs.   They are taking advantage of your caring nature for their own ends and don’t care about you.  That can sound harsh, but these are people who simply function differently from the other 99% or so of the population.  Once you notice a “poor me” game in progress, keep your energy inside your energy boundary and politely withdraw from the conversation.   Do step number 5 to make sure there’s no energy residue.
  5. Break the energetic connection between you.  You can visualise removing their energy from your body and aura and turning it into an object or shape, and then image giving that object or shape to the guardian angel of the manipulator.  There is no need for you to heal this energy yourself and it’s not your responsibility.  Another way to break the energy is to visualise Archangel Michael being with you and asking him to use his sword to cut the energy.  Then witness as he powerfully and safely brings his sword down to sever the energy cords.
  6. Value YOUR needs.  Get in touch with what it is that you need and do whatever you need to to get your needs met.  This makes your energy far stronger and more resilient to any challenges in life.  If you’re not used to listening to your needs, go gently and practice tuning into what you need moment by moment.  Maybe you need more fun, creative time, maybe you need better nutrition, maybe you need to journal to connect with your feelings.  Only you can know what you truly need. <3
  7. Limit your time with manipulative people as much as you can.  Some people cannot be changed and it’s best to withdraw and limit time around them.  You can send them love from afar but unless you’re a spiritual master, you’re unlikely to be able to stay centred and balanced around them.
  8. Cleanse yourself with your preferred method of energy clearing.  Examples of this are: salt baths, pure incense, crystals for energy clearing (such as clear quartz that you’ve programmed, citrine, amethyst or any crystal that you intuitively sense will help you), high frequency tuning forks such as those by Suara Sound, reiki or some other form of energy healing.  Keep your vibration high and you’ll be more strongly connected to your true self.  And who you truly are can never be manipulated by anyone <3

These are just 8 suggestions.  If you have any more tips and suggestions, do add them in the comments below.  The more resources we have to share on dealing with manipulation, the more we can limit its power over us.  The patterns of fear, control and manipulation that keep us small are gradually dissolving away and the more we can set strong boundaries and walk away, the more these patterns can be left firmly in humanity’s past.

With love 

Jacqui xxx

By the way, if the manipulative person is one of your parents, my healing from toxic parents programme is for you.  It’s designed for those who had a toxic parent such as a narcissist and who are more spiritually minded.  It will help you release yourself through deep forgiveness and give your inner child what s/he has always needed.

Details are here: Spiritual Healing From Toxic Parents Programme

 

8 Signs You’re Being Manipulated

One of our most ugly ways of communicating with each other is through manipulation.  Instead of owning our vulnerabilities and coming from the heart, we go into our heads and try to make others feel bad for our own insecurities.  Now I have to hold my hand up and say I’ve used this on others and am in the learning process of eliminating it from my communication.  But there’s a big difference between using controlling communication from time to time and doing it all the time.  All of us can get fearful and lapse into trying to control but often we’ll notice it, stop ourselves and make changes.  But for some people, it’s become such a deeply ingrained habit that this is the only way they know how to communicate.  It can also be a form of abuse.

Here are some of the signs of being manipulated:

  1. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells
  2. You feel you have to choose your words very carefully to avoid upset
  3. You may feel pain or uncomfortable emotion in your body
  4. You feel a need to justify your actions
  5. You feel guilty
  6. You’re criticised for doing things you like to do
  7. You’re made to feel like you’re responsible for someone else’s pain
  8. You’re lied to

If you recognise any of these signs in someone around you now, it’s a good idea to create stronger boundaries and increase your protection.  If this is how you are being treated daily by anybody, I want you to know that this is absolutely NOT OK and you deserve much, much better.  You deserve to be treated with love, respect, honesty and openness.

I created a blog post on boundaries and protection here.

There is a chance that the person manipulating you is a narcissist.  You can see details of my programme for healing after narcissistic abuse here and just reading this may help you understand your situation better and realise some changes you can make.

Wishing you all the love and kindness you truly deserve.

Jacqui xxx