What if all of the darker emotions had vital messages for us?

blog post title

What if envy had a vital message?  

 What if all of the darker emotions like rage, shame, anger even hatred had vital messages for us?  

What if being true to yourself means honouring all of the emotions?

Emotions are metaphorically the element of water within us.  The idea of the 4 Elements appears in many traditions and cultures around the world.  The Kabbalah, Astrology, The Tarot, Native American wisdom – all of these use the idea that we’re made up of the 4 basic elements of earth, water, air and fire.  These 4 elements correspond to different part of our earthly human selves:

Earth – the physical body

Water – the emotions

Air – thoughts and beliefs, the intellect

Fire – our creativity, imagination, intuition and psychic ability 

Having total wellbeing means that all 4 elements are working in harmony with each other and are balanced.  The problem we have in western societies is that the air element tends to overpower all the others.  In many education systems, intellectual achievement is valued over everything else.  But wiser schools and colleges know that creativity (fire), movement in the physical body (earth) and emotional intelligence (water) are just as vital to our overall intelligence as pure academic work is.

And the problem in a lot of spiritual circles is that there’s a jump from air to fire without the grounding and wisdom of water and earth.  It’s what leads to spiritual by-passing and stopping legitimate expression of emotion that leads to being wholly human and to fully healing deep wounds.

The Deeper Wisdom Of Darker Emotion

The darker emotions (water) like envy, anger, fear and shame are only darker because we rarely bring them into the light of awareness.  But when we take the time to listen to their messages, they can give us invaluable insights to navigate whatever we’re facing and find the truth of it.  The deeper truth is always healing.

Whenever I feel one of the darker emotions come up, my first place to look it up is Karla McLaren’s excellent book “The Language of Emotions”.   And her incredible research and experience will always guide me home.  

Emotions are responses to our environment – both the external environment (around our physical bodies) and in response to our internal beliefs and thoughts.  When we get the thinking parts of our minds to connect up with and work with the emotional parts of our minds, we get more control over our state and can move through problems and issues with more ease.  Life is richer and fuller.  The elements of air and water work together in harmony.

But when the thinking part of the mind is cut off from the emotions, we can buy into collective thinking and ideas that stunt our own development and keep us small or even deluded about the effects of what we’re doing.  

For example, the collective idea that emotions are primitive and dumb and should never be on show became a collective belief about emotions.   Living from this intellect-centred view shuts off a vital part of ourselves that brings integrity to our whole systems.  We have the evidence of what a lack of emotion does to us – humans can commit unspeakable acts of violence and cruelty when there is no regulation from emotions, such as in the case of some psychopaths, sociopaths and extreme narcissists.  

On a smaller level, in dealing with our own unconscious racism and prejudices, feeling shame is a gateway to having the kind of empathy that lets us really hear the stories of people experiencing our unconscious racism.  Then we can really make the kinds of changes that usher in a fairer world. 

An Example of Going Deeper into Envy

When I’ve noticed my own envy coming up about other people’s business successes, following the feelings of envy lead to far greater insight and far deeper healing.  Karla (the author of The Language of Emotions) differentiates between jealousy and envy.  She says that jealousy is about unfaithfulness or deceit in close relationships whereas envy is about “unfair distribution of resources or recognition”.  In my struggling days in my business, boy, oh boy did that resonate for me!  “Why do all these other business owners get to have thriving businesses (i.e. good income) and recognition when I’m struggling?”  The clue to answering this question my mind invented is in Karla’s empathic practice for dealing with envy:

Discern whether you’re responding to disloyalty and unfairness in others or to your own lack of self-regard and worthiness.  In either case, restore your boundaries first; then listen to your intuition and honor the anger and fear inside…envy.

The Language of Emotions, p.263

What an insight!  My envy was really about my own lack of self- regard and worthiness and it’s OK to feel that and to acknowledge it.  The inner work was to dive into it and see what guidance my intuition had for me.  Karla has another gem of an explanation of diving into envy:

When your envy is welcomed and channelled honorably, it will help you uncover unhealed issues and traumas that continue to haunt your present-day behavior.  p.276

When I did deep dive into it, sure enough, there was an unhealed trauma and belief about being abandoned.  Eventually when I dug even deeper after experiencing lots of the “darker” emotions like rage, shame, envy and even terror, I uncovered my deepest wound that was holding everything back so it could finally be returned to love.  The darker emotions were allies to help me safely go into the depths of the wound AND to be careful about who I kept close during that vulnerable healing journey.  

Don’t Pathologise Emotion – Instead Trust The Deeper Message

By taking the time to stop, listen in and honour the insights that come from the water and earth elements (the emotions and the body), it brings us into the present moment, it brings deep acceptance of life and it helps to honour all the variety and diversity of life experiences that we all have.  It helps create good boundaries between us so we can fully honour each others’ uniqueness.

And honouring that uniqueness brings richness and depth to life’s experiences.

So next time you feel one of those darker emotions, don’t pathologise it or think there’s something wrong with you.  Trust that the healthy water element in you has something important for you to notice.  Don’t rush it, give the water element space to flow and bring through it deep messages.  

If you need help, it’s wise to choose a practitioner that you feel safe with and that can demonstrate that they’ve done this deeper work themselves.  Trust that your subconscious mind will keep you safe and your intuition will help guide you to the right person for you.  And definitely get your hands on Karla’s incredible book or her insight-packed free articles on her blog. 

Trust In Yourself

Trust in…

  • your emotions
  • your body
  • your heart
  • your soul
  • your intuition
  • your spiritual gifts and abilities
  • your ability to change your thoughts
  • your ability to learn
  • your ability to set boundaries
  • your bullshit detector
  • your ability to heal the past
  • life’s wisdom
  • what life brings you
  • the idea of life happening for you
  • your ability to change the unconscious programmes running your life
  • your ability to ask for help from the right people
  • your ability to find the perfect people to help you with everything you need
  • your ability to discern who to trust and who not to trust
  • your life experiences as valuable lessons and insights to others
  • your ability to inspire others with your truth
  • your wildest, craziest dreams and visions

Trust in yourself, beautiful soul.  Trust in yourself.   <3

This Will Melt Your Heart

This story appears in “Authentic Success” by Robert Holden and it is stunningly beautiful. I do love it when deep wisdom is shared through a child’s voice.

“One lazy Sunday afternoon a busy businessman was hard at work entertaining a potential client at his home. The businessman had a young son of about 6 years old called David who kept running in and disturbing the negotiations.

David was bored, and he hoped daddy and his new friend might want to play. Each time David entered the room, his father gave him something to play with: first a pen, then a calculator, then a book to read.

Finally David’s father found a map of the world, which he tore up into 50 pieces. He gave David a roll of tape and asked him to return only when he had stuck the world back together again.

David returned after only 5 minutes with the map of the world complete again. His father was astonished. ‘How did you do that in such a short time?’ he asked.

‘Easy,’ replied David. ‘On the back of the map of the world I had already drawn a big picture of myself, and when I put myself together the world came together, also.’ “

This is what healing and therapy is all about – putting all our pieces back together again. And when we do that, we create a new world and inspire others to do the same. I’m seeing the ripple effects of my own hypnotherapy journey and how people (especially women) around me are stepping into more authenticity and power by claiming lost and hidden pieces of themselves. It’s the topic of the book I’m writing “Pieces to Peace”

One of the ways I’m helping people reclaim lost pieces is through hypnotherapy sessions. Hypnotherapy is what helped me to reclaim a deeply buried and unconscious sabotaging piece of myself. You can read more about that here.  

If you’d like to know more about how I can help you step into more inner peace, empowerment and authenticity and reclaim lost pieces of yourself, below is more information about my hypnotherapy package. Just email jacqui@jacquimcginn.com for more information or click here to book a free discovery session.

What Can Hypnotherapy Do For You?

My new certificate in hypnotherapy received on 20th January under the full moon <3

I’ve just qualified after 5 months of training in hypnotherapy formally. I was actually starting to work in hypnosis with my clients and found it was getting the best results to get clients to use their imagination to solve problems with my guidance. Now I’ve sharpened up my skills and have a bigger toolkit.

So how can it help you?

Well, hypnosis and hypnotherapy are fascinating processes that can work really well alongside spiritual healing. You might think of hypnotherapy as helping with problems like weight management, stopping smoking and anxiety or depression. But there’s more that hypnotherapy can do. If you know about The Law of Attraction teachings and manifesting, hypnotherapy can help uncover and change deep blocks to manifesting the life of your dreams too.

Blocks to Manifesting Dreams

To give you an example, during the training, I underwent really deep processes myself to help feel what they’re like for a client. Over the last few years, it’s felt like my life has been really held back and dragged back. No matter how many affirmations or healing sessions or inner work I did, or however many courses or coaches I invested in, that “held back feeling” just wasn’t shifting.

I knew I wasn’t expressing the whole of who I am. I knew I should really be more successful than I was and I tried everything to make it happen. Even my teacher was puzzled as to why I wasn’t more successful because I am bloody good at what I do. But those blocks were DEEP and they weren’t going to go without the depth of hypnotherapy. Energy healing went a long way to opening the door to finding my blocks to creating what I wanted, and then it was hypnotherapy that got to the root cause of the blocks to actually break them down. And I think the same will be true for many other natural healers. We’ve been healers since we were born and as healers, the first people we worked with were our families. Our healing skills got hidden in family dynamics as we tried to help our family members feel better.

My blocks were partially from trying to make my family feel better and partially from the helplessness of being an emotional child who didn’t feel understood. As a child, I had a “good girl” exterior but underneath it was a defiant streak! That defiant streak along with being a misery hoover for other people lead to that “stuck” and “held back” feeling that I was experiencing. My book writing is flying now after years of trying to get it down and I can see how my thoughts, actions and expectations had been holding me back in my business, in my life, in my book writing and in my relationships. I’m more assertive and comfortable asking for what I need and want without getting whingy or bitchy like I could do before (like a defiant child not trusting that she will get what she wants and needs, AND resenting that she’s carrying everyone else’s emotional baggage!)

Others who’ve been around me for a few years are noticing the shift in revealing my true self more and more as a result of the hypnotherapy work. I can see how I was trying to present a certain image of myself online that was more what I hoped other people would like and appreciate. But now I’m much more confident being really honest and showing up fully.

Life Improvements

And it’s not just me who’s benefitted. People with long-standing problems are finding relief and feeling so much better from the hypnotic tools I’ve been using. From people feeling miserable and down for years, to people who’ve had physical pain and discomfort eased in just one session.

So hypnotherapy can help with such a vast range of problems, it’s amazing. It usually goes back to thought patterns and behaviours that were created in early childhood – even physical problems can come from that too. Once you know how to unlock the subconscious mind and work with it, you see how it’s always been trying to help you. And it just needs a bit of help to change what it’s doing. And that change can happen fast.

If you’d like to chat with me about how I can help you or if my story resonates with you, do get in touch with me. You can contact me on jacqui@jacquimcginn.com or book yourself a free discovery session here: https://jacquimcginn.as.me/peacediscovery

Are You Crazy Enough To Think You Can Change The World?

Here’s to the crazy ones.
 
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
 
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
 
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
 
Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.
 
-Steve Jobs

The Power Of What You Used To Fear

It’s funny how the things you feared years ago can become an integral part of your life and purpose.  Angels and past lives were 2 such things for me and yet now I’m using them to help people feel much better, heal from the past and resolve burning problems.

Is there something you’ve feared in the past that you do quite happily now?  Or is there something you fear now that could be a skill or valuable insight in the future?  This quote by Marianne Williamson sums up the reason for these kinds of fears:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”  Marianne Williamson

Fear of Seeing Angels

When I was still recovering from my mental breakdown, my mum gave me a book on angels by Diana Cooper.  I loved the idea of them, but the thought of actually seeing one scared the bejesus out of me!  Now, I’m merrily doing Doreen Virtue’s Angel Intuitive course and fully embracing the connection with angels.  Although, I have to admit – I don’t actually “see” angels in the way I feared I might then, it’s more a knowing and a feeling that their energy is around.  And it’s far from scary 🙂

Fear of Seeing Past Lives 

The same was true of hearing about past lives for the first time.  I loved the Celestine Prophecy and bought the experiential guide that goes with it to dive deeper into the ideas in it.  But when I read the follow up book, “The Tenth Insight” and it started talking about past lives … ooh, fear alert…fear alert! AND there was an experiential guide for the Tenth Insight too – I thought “eek… there must be something in this!  Help – my version of reality is crumbling!!!”  Yeah, there was a lot of fear about that but also a lot of curiosity too.

Fast forward a few years and I quite happily took a course of past life regression therapy, did a course in it and do it with clients now too.  I have to admit, my mum was the first person I practiced past life regression hypnotherapy on and it  did freak me out because she became a child describing a lady on a ducking stool.  There was that moment of “oh crap – what if I can’t bring her back and she’s stuck like that?!”  But fortunately the unconscious mind is wiser than our fears.  She came back to normal consciousness with no problems and with a vivid memory of the past life she saw.

Is it all real?  Does is matter?

Past life regression, Angels – these are function of the unconscious mind.  Yes, I do think they are figments of the imagination but I also think they’re functions of the imagination.  Are they real?  Well, they might be, they might not be – it’s a matter of personal belief.  But what I do know is that belief is a powerful thing and using these techniques helps people to feel better and that’s the most important thing.  <3

If you’d like to have a go at connecting with your angels to experience their energy and support for yourself, I’m running a one day workshop on June 24th in Chandlers Ford, Hampshire.  We’ll explore ways to connect and how to receive messages as well as connecting with the Inner Child too.  It’ll be a day of nurture and self-care as you relax into the arms of the angels.  Details are here:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/connect-with-your-angels-and-inner-child-tickets-34596937371

I would absolutely love to welcome you along!

Love Jacqui xxx

 

Connecting With The Inner Child

November 2008, on a psychic development workshop right by Mount Fuji, I set the intention to do Inner Child Healing.  After I said my intention out loud, my teacher saw an angel carrying a child flow right through my body.  And what a ride it’s been since then!

When you set powerful intentions like that, you get everything you need to make it happen.  Inner Child Healing is a beautiful, gentle and yet powerful way to reconnect with your true self.  And what we’re really doing is simply listening to the Inner Child’s needs and meeting them.  They’re usually very simple needs like space to be creative, to be heard, to play or have fun.  Children live in the moment and can be great spiritual teachers and the same goes for your Inner Child.  They may be small but they are equally as wise as any adult and a great ally in bringing about a greater sense of wellbeing and happiness.

My Inner Child Healing training has come from a combination of taking courses, studying and mostly the life experiences that have come.  In particular, working in nurseries has meant that I’ve worked with some of the best childcare practitioners in the area to see how they get the best out of children.

The way I work with the Inner Child is to make sure my client feels relaxed and at ease, then go into a theta state where we can access the unconscious mind and spiritual guidance, and then I “see” or “sense” the client’s Inner Child.  S/he will communicate with me and I interact with him or her like a nursery practitioner – reassuringly,  asking questions and encouraging creativity.  The creative solutions that the Inner Child can come up with are incredible sometimes – e.g. turning a narcissistic spouse into an octopus and safely putting them in a tank of water to stop them putting their “energy tentacles” into the client!

So it’s not so much that Inner Child gets healing, it’s that s/he helps with what the client needs healing and my job is to hold a safe space, listen and encourage the child’s creativity.  Adding Angels to work with the Inner Child adds an extra layer of love, safety and gentle power to the healing work.

If you’d like to learn how to connect with and use the healing wisdom of your Inner Child and Angels, I’m running a one-day workshop at The Mantra Rooms in Chandlers Ford on 24th June.  The event details are here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/connect-with-your-angels-and-inner-child-tickets-34596937371

Early bird tickets of just £33 (plus Eventbrite fees) are available until the end of May.  Usual ticket price is £44 (plus fees).

Inner Child Healing in a New Way

Yesterday

Denise Linn’s Soul Coaching Oracle Cards – Sanctuary

was a day of remembering that I love Inner Child work.  Our childhoods have such a far reaching influence on our lives, that this little person still inside us needs care and attention as much as anyone does.  But yesterday Inner Child Healing went in a fascinating new direction.

Learning is Power

As a teacher, I believe in the power of learning and of teaching people skills to become independent.  I’ve never wanted to be the kind of healer that people come to again and again to “fix” problems.  I always want to teach self-healing skills alongside my healing sessions.  But many of us weren’t empowered as children and our voices weren’t heard.  We had to follow the rules and listen to authority figures.  In the process we lost touch with our own guidance and intuition.  It got squashed by following the authority figures in our lives.  Times are changing and the trend in childcare is for learning to be child-led and with far greater understanding of normal child behaviour and development.  But for those of us who didn’t receive this kind of nursery education, our Inner Child is dying to be heard.

Power of the Imagination

I use what Carl Jung would call “Active Imagination” in healing sessions.  My clients’ unconscious minds show me symbols of what’s going on and I get guidance from spiritual guides and the creator on how best to help the client move forward.  My job is to ask for healing and witness it – the mind is so powerful that using the imagination in this way really can help people feel better.  But a fascinating process unfolded with a client on my narcissism programme recently.  Usually I follow the guidance and use active imagination to witness the healing happen but on this occasion, I had to sit back and guide the Inner Child to do the healing herself once I’d asked for it.  Just like a nursery school teacher would, I was prompting the child to come up with solutions to the problems we were seeing.  And wow, was it effective!  The Inner Child felt heard and more confident and the problems went away quickly and in a light, game-like way.

Everyone is Unique

I have no idea whether this technique will be needed again.  Each session is best when it’s tailored to what the client needs and that’s the fun of working  in this way.  As long as we’ve set an intention for where we want to be, the unconscious mind and spiritual guidance will work together to get us there somehow.  It’s such a fascinating process and it unfolds differently for different people.

Why not give this technique a try next time you have a problem?  Set the intention to solve the problem, connect with your Inner Child  in your imagination and prompt him or her to find creative solutions to it.  Let me know how you get on if you try it!  My contact details are to the left 🙂

The Hokey Cokey and ThetaHealing?

A few years ago I saw a sign that said “What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it’s all about?” and didn’t buy it.  I could’ve kicked myself for not grabbing it then.  Then yesterday I was shopping in Lyndhurst and found one.  So this time I nabbed it!

Hokey Cokey

At the end of my last ThetaHealing training, we all did the Hokey Cokey together.  My Inner Child just loves the “Oooooooh, the Hokey Cokey” hand-holding-and-running-into-the-middle bit.

But as many a true word is said in jest, I really do think there’s a valuable message in the song. It’s the idea of putting your whole self in.  ThetaHealing is most definitely a great tool for helping us do that.  From childhood our minds get filled with other people’s ideas of how we should live and with society’s rules about what is and isn’t acceptable.  These form unconscious beliefs that stop us being our whole selves – I’m not good enough, I’m not loveable, there’s something wrong with me – all of these beliefs hold us back from being our whole selves.  By learning ThetaHealing, you learn a tool to dive deep and clear away those limiting beliefs and gradually let our whole selves out.

Inspiring quote from Oprah’s Bold Moves Game

Later after I got home from my shopping trip yesterday, I stayed up late all the while thinking “I really should go to sleep”.  But I had an inner nudge to play an iPhone game I’ve been playing quite a lot recently  – Oprah’s Bold Moves.  (It’s basically Candy Crush with prettier scenes and inspiring quotes!)  I had been stuck on a difficult level for days but last night I completed it and finally unlocked the quote.  As synchronicty would have it, it was about gradually putting your whole self in!!  I’ve included it here as evidence!

Altogether now: “Your put your whole self in, your whole self out, in, out, in, out and shake it all about.  You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around.  That’s what it’s all about!”

I do love it when synchronicity enhances a message you’re playing with!

If you’d like to know more about how ThetaHealing can help you Hokey Cokey up your life, I’ve got more information for you here.  My next course is planned  for the last weekend in February or you can check out the ThetaHealing homepage to find an instructor near you. (I can’t guarantee they’ll end with the Hokey Cokey!)

ThetaHealing Training

 

Christmas Light In The Darkness

It’s Christmas Eve and tomorrow is the day we’ve been building up to in Christian countries.  Pretty lights in the dark, decorations to lift our spirits, presents to delight loved ones and tons of food for those of us who are fortunate enough to have the family and funds to enjoy it all.

As 2016 draws to a close, I was pondering the symbolism of the Christmas story and the significance Christ could have nowadays.  2016 has been a tough year globally and it’s been a tough year for me personally.  Cancer, dementia and stroke have taken their toll on my loved ones.   The political promises built on clear lies, the extremism, the growing inequality… it can seem like the darkness is closing in.

Hope in the Darkness

Christmas comes just after the longest night in the Northern Hemisphere.  A bright star in the night sky announced the coming of a teacher of great love.  In spiritual circles, we talk of the Christ Consciousness – embodying the pure love of the great spiritual teachers like Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi and Kwan Yin.  All the religions and spiritual practices are in essence about connecting with this great source of love.  My family’s struggles with ill health have taught us to live more, appreciate more and be more present.

It’s our false selves or egos that make it seem that this great love is unavailable.  To be sure, the veil between our human selves and this great love can seem very thick.  But babies and young children radiate this pure love and see the world with eyes of wonder.  Their ego selves haven’t yet formed and they can delight in the pure joy and essence of Christmas.  Each of us maintains this pureness behind the tricks of the ego mind.

The Dropping Away of the False

So in these dark times, the essence of Christmas can give us hope that our false selves are gradually dropping away and revealing who we truly are:  sparks of a great divine love that can light up the darkness.

In case you didn’t catch this on Facebook – enjoy this little boy absolutely delighted by a visit from Santa <3 https://youtu.be/XCknt5JVPuI

Merry Christmas 2016

With Love

Jacqui xxx