I got a dash of inspiration for this meditation after a good old Tapping session. (Tapping is a fusion of eastern medicine and western psychology to clear emotional blocks). I was tapping on “I hate marketing”… except that the words were ruder than that!!
Just below the meditation, there’s a bit more about the background to it if you’re curious (or just plain nosy like me!)
It’s called a Pieces to Peace meditation and The Pieces to Peace philosophy is a way of thinking for empaths and sensitives. It’s to help us navigate the difficulties of living in a world that desperately needs healing when you’re super sensitive and can feel the pain. As children, we learned to mold and shape ourselves to be liked more and accepted more. The first people we wanted to be liked by were our parents or caregivers. So we created a version of ourselves that we thought would get us more love and attention.
Communication in Childhood
The trouble with that “mask” version of ourselves is that a) it’s not who we really are, so we’re not really being loved, and b) we were never really sure what exact pieces of ourselves to put in it. Adults have moods that change so on one day one part of us seemed OK and on another day it wasn’t. Plus a lot of adults don’t actually communicate all that clearly with children, unless they’ve had to communicate with children on the autistic spectrum. Then your communication has to be super clear because they generally take what you say literally! That’s one of the beautiful gifts of autism – people on the spectrum force us to think more carefully and precisely about our communication. For example – it’s not a great idea to tell a child with autism to “go to the toilet and wash your hands”. I’ll leave you to imagine why…
The feedback from children with autism about our language is a wake-up call. Without the straight feedback from them, it’s difficult to see just how confusing our language and instructions are for children. We expect them to fill in a lot of gaps with background knowledge. Like the toilet example above – to understand the instruction actually intended, you have to make leaps in logic because it’s not clear in the language alone what the adult wants the child to do.
Ego Love vs Soul Love
Translate that confusion into what parts of you please your parents and it’s easy to see why we can never really be sure what the “loveable” version of us is. While children with autism give direct feedback, other children usually don’t. You and I were in a state of trying to please the adults around us in childhood but we were never really sure what it was they wanted from us.
Add to that our empathic abilities and sensitivities which meant that we had a lot more information to deal with, and you’ve got a recipe for utter confusion and chaotic energy. There’s also this vague sense that something’s not quite right with us. We don’t belong and we’re not quite loveable but we can’t put our finger on why that is.
That’s ego love. Molding and shaping yourself for someone else to love you and give you attention is people pleasing and it’s one of the ego’s tricks. It’s incredibly unhealthy. It can lead to poor boundaries, burnout, poor self esteem and low self worth.
On the other hand, soul love is pure love. It’s the kind of love where we can relax into who we really are in any moment.
There’s no fear of what others will think.
There’s no anxiety.
There’s the ability to say “no” to things that aren’t in our best interest.
Above all, there’s so much more love flowing. As you’ll experience in the meditation.
Outline Of The Meditation
After relaxing your body and mind, I take you to a beautiful place in nature and remind you that you’re in control of what you imagine and can make any changes you wish to make it even more beautiful and even more safe. Then you’ll bring in your inner child to help. You’ll see your earthly self as lots of little pieces. We’ll explore what happens to those pieces in ego love and then explore what happens in soul love, so you can REALLY feel and experience the difference.
A Final Note…
Oh and you can probably see why a meditation like this would come to be after tapping on “I hate marketing”. Marketing in its fear-based ego form can be like creating a mask of yourself to get potential clients to like you.
In it’s love-based soul form, marketing is about showing the world who you really are and how you can help solve problems. Then letting that be the basis for building trusting relationships with people you can help. <3
Being a psychic healer means you know and feel the pain behind appalling behaviour. You know why someone constantly puts you down. You know why they call you names and make absurd accusations. You know why they have to deny the truth.
Because you can see, feel, hear, know or sense the pain underneath their fragile self esteem and the healer part tries not to give up on them, always hoping for better days.
You know why they go into their heads and shut off from their heart. You know why they feel they have to justify their own rightness. You know why they try to shame you into feeling socially unacceptable. You know why they need to you feel disempowered.
Because you can see, feel, hear, know or sense the pain that keeps them feeling powerless and afraid of their heart. And you know things can be different.
Yes, they deserve our compassion and love on a soul level. That wounded inner child desperately needs love and attention. As a child they deserved so much more than they got.
But now, you deserve your compassion just as much, if not more. You inner child deserves to be in relationships that offer safety, playfulness, happiness and nurture.
Let the healer in you work with people who are ready and willing to change their lives and who respect your ability. Get yourself away from the presence of people who drag you down, bully, shame or blame you.
By all means, send them love. But do it from afar. Keep your highest healer vision of love alive. But do it from afar.
Thank them for all they taught you about what love isn’t. But do it from afar.
Forgive them for their mindless behaviour. But do it from afar and do it for your own happiness.
Yes, you have a shadow and you need to know yours. But don’t let their shadow, their projections and their psychic attacks lead you to believe that you ARE their shadow. You’re not.
You can’t control what people see in you. You can control whether you allow yourself anywhere near their energy.
Save your beautiful, caring, broken, mended, courageous healer heart for people who see it and acknowledge it. Surround yourself with people dreaming bigger, being truthful, soaring high, lifting you up, living in alignment and taking responsibility for their lives and their own healing.
Live your life as the example of what psychic healing can actually do, not what it could potentially do. Don’t be a victim in someone else’s drama. Be a divine co-creator of your life. <3
(My relationship healing meditation can help you remember the bigger you in relationships and separate yourself from the problems people have. It’s a gift for signing up to my mailing list where I’ll send you more reminders of who you really are <3 You can access it here. )
This is perhaps one of the most difficult and raw posts to write. The other day i devoured the book “The Power of TED” by David Emerald and I felt it resonate so deep that I knew that it would bring through profound change.
The next morning when I wrote the first draft of this post, I’d been crying because it had reached a deep place in my heart. The basic idea in the book is that there are 2 ways to approach life – either a as victim where everything happens TO you (not just crime but every event and situation) or as a creator where you have the power to make your dreams a reality and have more control over the direction of your life.
The Dreaded Drama Triangle
Recently I experienced a strong drama triangle that got me researching to understand it more and find out how to get out of it. The drama triangle comes from perceiving life as a victim. It involves 3 roles (hence the “triangle”!). The main role is the victim and the other two roles in the triangle are persecutor and rescuer. The persecutor seems to be the cause of the victim’s suffering and the rescuer tries to fix the victim (but actually needs them to stay in their suffering and problems so that they are needed). But one person can spin through all 3 roles I’m sure you’ve had experienced of someone who plays the victim and then they suddenly become aggressive and become the persecutor, or you’ve probably met a martyr who flits between victim and rescuer. None of these positions are healthy or empowering but we often learn to play the roles in childhood.
The Empowerment Triangle
The alternative to the drama triangle, is the empowerment triangle, which is what the book I was reading was about. Instead of victim, we have creator (or more accurately, cocreator), persecutor becomes challenger and rescuer becomes life coach. Each role comes from the perspective that you have everything you need inside you to create whatever you want and it’s linked to the idea of the law of attraction. One of the insights in the book that had such a profound impact on me was that you don’t necessarily need people to play the roles. A situation can be a rescuer or a persecutor. For example, an addiction can be a rescuer and a difficult challenge can be a persecutor. It all depends on whether you’re focusing on the problem or if you’re focusing on the bigger vision for what you want to have happen.
It dawned on me that I feel like a victim in my business. I haven’t built the systems I need to give structure to my finances and marketing. My tax return was a nightmare because I didn’t have a system and I haven’t built the marketing systems to encourage enough people to come and check out what I do. To make the point even clearer that I’m coming from the victim stance in my business, I had MAJOR problems with my marketing right around the time of experiencing the drama triangle with people. Right before all the problems started, I was starting to feel so happy that I finally getting a marketing structure and system in place after resisting for so long. But then I had major technical problems that meant I had to dismantle what I’d created. Looking back i can see the connection between the two events – I felt like a victim to the marketing problems and I was seen as a persecutor by the people I was with (and I don’t really know why other than life decided to make the triangle so bleedin’ obvious that I would have to study it!)
Death of a Dream
The other huge aha from reading “The Power of TED” was that we stay in the drama triangle when we’ve had the death of a psychic hope, wish or dream. It links so beautifully with all the research I’m doing on forgiveness because forgiveness is really about giving up on the idea that the past could be any different from how it was. Accepting that shit happened in the past, learning what you can from it and letting go of the desire for it to be any different from how it played out is what underlies true forgiveness. You accept the raw truth to get to bigger truths. But the other subtle layer to forgiveness is that it stops you being stuck in the past as a victim – hoping for a better future that can never come and wasting energy on it. The death of psychic dreams, hopes and wishes was at the root of my victim stance in the systems and structure in my business.
To explain the link, I need to just go a little deeper. I see the different aspects of our businssses as representing the masculine, feminine and child energies in us. The masculine is the structures and systems that provide the safe home for the business to be in. So websites, business plans, marketing plans would come into that too. The feminine is the nurturing and connection – so customer service, networking, the connection side of marketing and also making sure that the business nurtures your own goals and needs as well as those of your customers. The child aspect is the creativity, openness to new ideas, exploration of ideas, the enjoyment of the business and the ability to get back up again after you fall like children learning to walk do. The child is also the holder of the bigger vision for the business. So the masculie and feminine are ways to help the vision be expressed in the world and the child holds the Vision itself.
Naturally all of these are going to be influenced by actual experiences with the masculine, feminine and child figures in our lives. Not necessary people of those genders, but people who have those masculine and feminine qualities and of course, our parents or early caregivers. And that’s where the tears I mentioned come in. My dad died in 2003 of cancer and parts of me hadn’t accepted fully he was gone. He’d been a workaholic for most of his life and was always busy, so he was a kind of absent father. Highly successful in lots of ways but unable to sit and be and spend much time with us – like so many people in society. His cancer shifted his atitude. I think it healed him in some senses because he became much more present and seemed to enjoy life and being with the people around him more.
Longing for Dad, Clinging to the Past
Where’s the biggest weakness in my business? It’s in the systems. And I was being a victim towards the systems in my business and felt powerless and like I needed a rescuer. I hadn’t really let go of my dad yet. I still had old worn out hopes and dreams of a better future with him. I’m being “rescued” by what he left behind because I hadn’t let go – I live in the house he supported and built an extension for and because my lack of systems means cash flow is a problem, I’m “rescued” each month by the investments he made. It’s hard for a fiercely independent women to admit all of this, but it’s true. And it was all deeply unconscious until I was ready to deal with it.
Underneath it, my inner child was still hoping to spend more time with daddy, so she was clinging to that hope. And then my mid 20s self regretted that I was living abroad and didn’t spend more time with him before he died. Then there’s the fact that he can never walk me down the aisle or see his grandchildren or meet his son in law or daughter in law – the little but significant things that you lose when someone you love dies. And as I type, I realised it’s also the fact that he died with me in the middle of my narcissistic relationship experience, so he was left with the memory of totally the wrong person.
So pieces of me were clinging onto the hope of a different future and hadn’t fully accepted what actually happened. I hadn’t forgiven life and let go of what I was powerless to change. My relationship to the systems in my business were mirrroring this deeper block and pain that I had. As long as my energy was clinging to a false future as a victim, I didn’t have enough energy in the present to create the structure in my business that would support me, my clients and my potential clients properly. The tears I cried were the release of the old victim energy and the truth that I had to let him go on a deeper level.
I wonder now whether this is something that resonates with more people – that the problems in your business can be traced back to thwarted dreams to do with males, females or how you felt as a child. I think that to have a balanced, sustainable business, you need all three in harmony and balance with each other. If there’s something wrong in one of those, it’ll manifest as a problem in your business like my male energy problem did. My holding onto my dad after he’s gone showed up as a block in the masculine part of my business. I know businesses that communicate poorly with customers and I do wonder whether that’s a problem with the feminine energy. Then there’s businesses without a bigger vision – I do wonder what’s happening to that child energy.
If this idea resonates with you, I would love to hear from you. Please do get in touch to let me know your thoughts. Either in the comments on Facebook if you’ve clicked on it there or pinging me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org or messaging me on FB.
All this inner work malarkey, it can be fascinating. The more you notice your patterns of limiting thoughts, beliefs and emotions and change them, the more space there is to stand back and see what’s going on so you can change it quicker. And by changing it, you change how you’re interacting with every area of your life and it can flow better. In this post, I’m going to share a specific example from my own life of something that was unconsciously holding me back. As I healed it in myself, I typed out what was happening so that I’d be able to share and give you insights into how to shift the blocks in your life and uncover where they originated from. My example started with a comment that someone made. My emotional response to the comment was an over-reaction, which is a big clue that something else is going on….
I’m on Denise Duffield-Thomas’s “Lucky Bee Money Bootcamp” which is really about self love, getting into alignment with your definition of abundance and charging prices that reflect the value you give. One of the hardest things for anyone who is caring and/or spiritual is to set prices that reflect the value you give. Radically underpricing is a problem because somewhere along the way, you’ll probably start resenting how much you give for what you receive. Now of course the universe will always bring you back what you send out eventually, but if there’s resentment mixed in with what you’re giving, unfortunately that icky energy will come back too. Naturally it’s good to give more in value than you’re charging, but from a place of abundance rather than lack. I have to admit that my own prices have been a bit wobbly for me and what I’m going to share is based on this problem I had!
Denise teaches Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or tapping) and forgiveness – which is a major part of the relationship work I do. The work in bootcamp is similar to what we learn to do in ThetaHealing – one of the modalities I practise and teach. I began ThetaHealing in 2009 and I rather arrogantly thought that because I’d been doing ThetaHealing on myself for so many years, there wouldn’t be much left to clear (except that my bank account says otherwise at the moment – it’s reflecting what’s going on in me)! The money bootcamp has been eye opening. Money stuff is a total rabbit hole of buried trauma, emotion and limiting beliefs. ThetaHealing, EFT (tapping) and forgiveness are awesome tools for clearing the stuff, but this is lifelong mindset stuff – each new level of growth and expansion that we go to will bring more inner “stuff” to heal and release.
Some big stuck “stuff” I uncovered on Saturday was from criticism of my prices. It was a fairly throwaway comment that I heard about my prices being too expensive. I didn’t think much at the time but then this feeling of anxiety and shame started to grow. I noticed myself getting defensive (inside my own head!) and got curious about what was going on. I let it go and then suddenly it hit me – criticism meant rejection to me! Now on a rational level, of course criticism isn’t rejection – it’s just an opinion about one aspect of what I’m doing in my life. Now I can see the root of a lot of self sabotage in my business – why would I put myself in front of lots of people if I’m afraid of being rejected if they don’t like what I do and how I think?
Now, that’s the first step in shifting the energy – getting clear on what the problem is. The next step is find out where I first put criticism and rejection together. The “theta” in ThetaHealing refers to the brainwave your brain is in between sleeping and waking and it’s where we can access the unconscious mind to make deep, lasting changes. Hypnotherapists will take their clients into a theta state. The difference in ThetaHealing is that the practitioner goes into the theta state while fully awake and the client’s brain shifts to the theta state without having to go into a trance. Of course on this occasion, I was both practitioner and client!!
The Journey to The Block
My first step in shifting this block was to go into the theta state to have source energy retrain my unconscious mind to separate criticism and rejection and to help it know the difference between those. So I went into the theta state and said:
“Creator of all that is (the name we use in ThetaHealing for source energy), it is commanded that I be taught the difference between criticism and rejection, that I know how to separate criticism from rejection and that I be taught the knowing that I can never really be rejected because I am always accepted as I am by the creator. Thank you. it is done, it is done, it is done.”
So now that my mind can relax and separate criticism from rejection, it gives my unconscious mind a boost to be able to dig deeper and find the source of the problem. You’ll notice that I also added in a higher truth about rejection – that it’s actually an illusion because we’re always accepted for you we are by god/creator/source (choose your favourite term!).
The second step was to ask my unconscious mind when it was that I first experienced criticism as rejection. I saw myself as a small child crying, so I knew that this was a DEEP programme. In the memory I’m recalling, I’ve done something that my parents disapprove of and have been shouted at by one of them (at this point, I wasn’t sure which one). And it’s really hurt my little heart, so it’s a kind of trauma. (Little children get traumatised much more easily than adults so being shouted at a person much bigger than you can be traumatic and it doesn’t necessarily need to be something abusive or life-threatening.) So I asked creator to remove the pain, shock and trauma of that time and send unconditional love to little Jacqui.
After feeling that energy flow, I tuned into little Jacqui, she’s still afraid of the adult with her who is daddy. Daddy’s actually really stressed at work and it was his work frustration that he was letting out too. The next bit of the healing I did is moving away from the ThetaHealing technique and using my own inner child healing that I’ve naturally developed. In my imagination, I sit with little Jacqui and show her a scene of daddy having big problems at work and show her the stress as a grey cloud that’s in his body. Then I’ll show her how daddy gave her the grey cloud because he didn’t know what to do with it. We’ll bring in an angel (my inner child likes and trusts angels) who will take the grey cloud away and take it back to creator to turn back into pure source energy. Now little Jacqui understands what happened to daddy and knows that he’s not rejecting her (this little Jacqui was too young to understand with a verbal explanation – she needed to see it to understand it). Now little Jacqui wants to hug daddy but he’s feeling bad. So we’re going to tell him we forgive him. We’re going to use “Ho’oponopono” the Hawaiian forgiveness ritual because it will help to find the source of the problem for daddy too and help him to heal it. I’m finding that using “Ho’oponopono” with the ThetaHealing command makes a beautiful and powerful process. I feel the energy moving and know that it’s happening.
I can feel that little Jacqui isn’t fully healed yet. Now what happened was that when she cried after being told off, she was told off again for crying. Daddy had been feeling bad and the crying was making him feel worse, so his Inner Chimp took over (have a read of “The Chimp Paradox” to find out more about the Chimp). What I’m sensing little Jacqui needs is to know that her emotions are OK. That it’s OK to let her emotions flow without fear of being shouted at or rejected. And it turned out that this was that last little bit that she really needed – she needed to know that she wouldn’t be rejected if she let her emotions flow.
Now in my imagination, daddy and little Jacqui are holding hands and smiling – experiencing the joy and happiness of their true selves together. She’s skipping and he’s smiling. My body feels lighter too after shifting the stuck thoughts, beliefs and emotions.
And now criticism and rejection aren’t the same thing in my mind. They’ve become very separate and I’ve reinforced the idea that I actually can’t really be rejected because I’m always accepted by the creator.
So that’s the end of the process and I can shut down the healing channels and come back into my body.
Reflections On The Journey
I know it sounds kind of nutty to go through these processes, but the difference to how I was feeling before and after the process was pretty striking. I’ve still got a little more “stuff” to work on around my pricing but I definitely feel better about criticism, which will help me crank up my visibility. This is a typical journey I take with my clients too but of course we never really know where the journey will lead – other than shifting the block we’re looking at because that’s what we’ve set the intention to do!
It’s always a fascinating journey to the source of the problem. To give a quick overview, what started with vague feeling of anxiety and shame turned out to be a realisation that I was feeling criticism and rejection as the same thing. Digging deeper into it, it was a childhood memory from when I was very small of where I felt rejected and criticised by there was actually more going on than my toddler mind could understand, so my toddler self needed my adult self to be with her and to show her what really happened so she could understand and let go. Letting go and healing the problem at the source means that that energy that was stuck and fragmented can be reintegrated back with the rest of me. Each time something happens that splits us off from the truth of who we are, we get left we a frozen piece of energy blocking the flow in our lives. Because life wants us to be whole, it will bring situations that can bring our attention to the frozen pieces so we can melt them and bring them back into alignment and flow with the whole system.
Check out my free relationship healing meditation that will help you remember that you and others are so much more than your earthly selves. Just like the healing ended with my dad and I being in a higher, happier place, the meditation will remind you that that’s who we really are in our true essence. Click HERE to get the meditation and to stay in touch via my mailing list <3
You know in your heart that what you do is a real gift and there are people out there who would really benefit from what you do.
But you just can’t seem to get a coherent marketing plan together no matter how hard you try and you feel that you don’t have enough clarity to go to a marketing professional for help either.
You probably know about limiting beliefs and have shifted loads of them and you know the law of attraction principles but your marketing plan just won’t come together.
If you’ve been in a narcissistic or highly controlling relationship, the chances are – that’s the reason. And it’s your unconscious mind protecting you from what it thinks might be harmful. Later I’ll explain why a past narcissistic relationship will interrupt your marketing but first of all, let’s take a look at what a narcissistic relationship is.
What is a narcissistic relationship?
On the most basic level, it’s a relationship where one person is unable to think about the needs of the other and they have a chronic need to be more special. Often this can actually be abusive and highly manipulative. A narcissistic person can be a master of subtle control so it can be very difficult to spot and the control can actually seem really nice – for example a partner who sweeps you off your feet with an amazing romantic dinner but it was when you had plans to do something else. It’s been compared to a frog being in a pan of water on the stove. The temperature gradually hots up and it barely noticeable for a while and then when the frog realises it’s too hot, it’s too late. That level of subtle control, repeated over time does a lot of damage to your self esteem and your self worth.
Not only that, but to stay in a narcissistic relationship long term means you need to shut down your heart so that you don’t feel the constant subtle emotional pain. And that is how those experiences and their wounds can block your marketing.
The Heart of Marketing
Marketing is really about building trusting relationships with your ideal clients and near ideal clients. Being a spiritual, heart-centred and caring business owner, you really want to connect from the heart with your audience, but when your heart is clogged up with unhealed wounds and unfelt emotions, it doesn’t leave space for that calm, true connection with your clients’ heart. You need a full, true connection with your own heart first.
That block in connection with your heart can block the connection with people who come across you through your blogs and social media posts. You’re probably creating a persona or a mask to protect your heart. But that means that you’re not showing up as the full, beautiful you that you are and your clients can’t really see you.
Now perhaps connecting in person is easier because you know who you’re dealing with. But for a wider reach, connecting with your audience via your blog or social media post is ideal. But that distance means there’s always that gamble over who will actually read it. You want the perfect clients to read it but how do you stop getting overwhelmed by all the wrong people reading it who might potentially gaslight you and manipulate you and shame you. These are very real fears for someone who’s been through what you have. The feeling of not having control over who you’re connecting with triggers that same lack of power over how the narcissist will interact with you. When they’re faceless people out there and you want to share your heart and soul with clients, is it any wonder that you might sabotage yourself to stay safe? After all, if your heart and your dreams were treated so badly by someone who was supposed to love you, why would you trust putting your work out there to potentially attract more of the same?
So how do you heal it?
The simple answer is that you trust your heart and release all the gunk that’s built up in it. Is that easy? Hell no! That’s why I was given the heart-healing gifts that I have and have had to go through plenty of experiences to sharpen those gifts up – so I can help sensitive, introverted and spiritual business owners like you to connect back with your heart, to trust it, to trust its truth and to have the whole heartspace at hand to put your unique energy frequency and signature into your marketing (and your whole business) Then your soul tribe will really recognise when they’re being called.
As a first step, I’ve created a relationship healing meditation to help you strengthen your heart and remember that you and any other person you’re having trouble with are so much more than your human selves. (Well, when I say “created” the meditation, I actually downloaded it from a place of inspiration! ) <3. Click HERE to access the meditation.
What if envy had a vital message? What if all of the darker emotions had vital messages for us? What if being true to yourself means honouring all of the emotions?
The idea of the 4 Elements appears in many traditions and cultures. The Kabbalah, Astrology, The Tarot, Native American wisdom – all of these use the idea that we’re made up of the 4 basic elements of earth, water, air and fire. These 4 elements correspond to different part of our human selves:
Earth – the physical body
Water – the emotions
Air – thoughts and beliefs, the intellect
Fire – our creativity, imagination, intuition and the spiritual self
Having total wellbeing means that all 4 elements are working in harmony with each other and are balanced. The problem we have in western societies is that the air element tends to overpower all the others. In many education systems, intellectual achievement is valued over everything else. Wiser schools and colleges know that creativity (fire), movement in the physical body (earth) and emotional intelligence (water) are just as vital to our overall intelligence as pure academic enquiry is.
The darker emotions (water) like envy, anger, fear and shame are only darker because we rarely bring them into the light of awareness. But when we take the time to listen to their messages, they can give us invaluable insights to navigate whatever we’re facing and find the truth of it. The deeper truth is always healing.
Whenever I feel one of the darker emotions come up, my first place to look it up is Karla McLaren’s excellent book “The Language of Emotions”. Emotions originate in the lower parts of the brain – the limbic system and they are responses to our environment – both the external environment (around our physical bodies) and in response to our internal beliefs and thoughts. When we get the higher parts of the brain that deal with thinking to connect up with and work with the lower parts of the brain, we get more control over our state and can move through problems and issues with more ease. Life is richer and fuller. This is air and water working together.
But when the thinking part of the brain is cut off from the emotions, we can buy into collective thinking and ideas that stunt our own development and keep us small. For example, the idea that emotions are primitive and dumb and should never be on show became a collective belief about emotions. Living from this intellect-centred view shuts off a vital part of ourselves that brings integrity to our whole systems. We have the evidence of what a lack of emotion does to us – humans can commit unspeakable acts of violence and cruelty when there is no regulation from emotions, such as in the case of some psychopaths, sociopaths and extreme narcissists. But those who feel emotions richly are often the great healers and compassionate, visionary contributors to society.
I noticed my own envy coming up about other people’s business successes. Karla differentiates between jealousy and envy. She says that jealousy is about unfaithfulness or deceit in close relationships whereas envy is about “unfair distribution of resources or recognition”. Boy, oh boy does that resonate for me! “Why do all these other business owners get to have thriving businesses (i.e. good income) and recognition when I’m struggling?” The clue to answering this question my mind invented is in Karla’s empathic practice for dealing with envy:
Discern whether you’re responding to disloyalty and unfairness in others or to your own lack of self-regard and worthiness. In either case, restore your boundaries first; then listen to your intuition and honor the anger and fear inside…envy.
The Language of Emotions, p.263
What an insight! My envy is really about my own lack of self- regard and worthiness and it’s OK to feel that and to acknowledge it. The inner work is to dive into it and see what guidance my intuition has on what my next step is. Karla has another gem of an explanation of diving into envy:
When your envy is welcomed and channelled honorably, it will help you uncover unhealed issues and traumas that continue to haunt your present-day behavior. p.276
When I did deep dive into it, sure enough, there was a massive unhealed trauma and belief about being abandoned by important meant. It was blocking the flow of masculine energy in me and now it’s healed, the flow has restored. I’ll share more about this on a Facebook live because there are useful insights for everyone on the spiritual path.
By taking the time to stop, listen in and honour the insights that envy brought me, my energetic system is flowing better leaving me with better wellbeing in the present. All the answers we really need are inside. I call this inner healing wisdom our soul’s song. We just need to get still and quiet enough to listen to its message and let it work its magic.
I’m creating a programme to help balance out the 4 elements and listen to the soul song. I’ll do both an online course-based and a 1-1 session based version of the course. If you’d be interested in being a beta tester for either version at a reduced rate, please do get in contact by FB message or email email@example.com
Here’s to embracing ALL of the emotions and letting the water element live fully in our lives. <3
It’s funny how the things you feared years ago can become an integral part of your life and purpose. Angels and past lives were 2 such things for me and yet now I’m using them to help people feel much better, heal from the past and resolve burning problems.
Is there something you’ve feared in the past that you do quite happily now? Or is there something you fear now that could be a skill or valuable insight in the future? This quote by Marianne Williamson sums up the reason for these kinds of fears:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” Marianne Williamson
Fear of Seeing Angels
When I was still recovering from my mental breakdown, my mum gave me a book on angels by Diana Cooper. I loved the idea of them, but the thought of actually seeing one scared the bejesus out of me! Now, I’m merrily doing Doreen Virtue’s Angel Intuitive course and fully embracing the connection with angels. Although, I have to admit – I don’t actually “see” angels in the way I feared I might then, it’s more a knowing and a feeling that their energy is around. And it’s far from scary 🙂
Fear of Seeing Past Lives
The same was true of hearing about past lives for the first time. I loved the Celestine Prophecy and bought the experiential guide that goes with it to dive deeper into the ideas in it. But when I read the follow up book, “The Tenth Insight” and it started talking about past lives … ooh, fear alert…fear alert! AND there was an experiential guide for the Tenth Insight too – I thought “eek… there must be something in this! Help – my version of reality is crumbling!!!” Yeah, there was a lot of fear about that but also a lot of curiosity too.
Fast forward a few years and I quite happily took a course of past life regression therapy, did a course in it and do it with clients now too. I have to admit, my mum was the first person I practiced past life regression hypnotherapy on and it did freak me out because she became a child describing a lady on a ducking stool. There was that moment of “oh crap – what if I can’t bring her back and she’s stuck like that?!” But fortunately the unconscious mind is wiser than our fears. She came back to normal consciousness with no problems and with a vivid memory of the past life she saw.
Is it all real? Does is matter?
Past life regression, Angels – these are function of the unconscious mind. Yes, I do think they are figments of the imagination but I also think they’re functions of the imagination. Are they real? Well, they might be, they might not be – it’s a matter of personal belief. But what I do know is that belief is a powerful thing and using these techniques helps people to feel better and that’s the most important thing. <3
If you’d like to have a go at connecting with your angels to experience their energy and support for yourself, I’m running a one day workshop on June 24th in Chandlers Ford, Hampshire. We’ll explore ways to connect and how to receive messages as well as connecting with the Inner Child too. It’ll be a day of nurture and self-care as you relax into the arms of the angels. Details are here:
November 2008, on a psychic development workshop right by Mount Fuji, I set the intention to do Inner Child Healing. After I said my intention out loud, my teacher saw an angel carrying a child flow right through my body. And what a ride it’s been since then!
When you set powerful intentions like that, you get everything you need to make it happen. Inner Child Healing is a beautiful, gentle and yet powerful way to reconnect with your true self. And what we’re really doing is simply listening to the Inner Child’s needs and meeting them. They’re usually very simple needs like space to be creative, to be heard, to play or have fun. Children live in the moment and can be great spiritual teachers and the same goes for your Inner Child. They may be small but they are equally as wise as any adult and a great ally in bringing about a greater sense of wellbeing and happiness.
My Inner Child Healing training has come from a combination of taking courses, studying and mostly the life experiences that have come. In particular, working in nurseries has meant that I’ve worked with some of the best childcare practitioners in the area to see how they get the best out of children.
The way I work with the Inner Child is to make sure my client feels relaxed and at ease, then go into a theta state where we can access the unconscious mind and spiritual guidance, and then I “see” or “sense” the client’s Inner Child. S/he will communicate with me and I interact with him or her like a nursery practitioner – reassuringly, asking questions and encouraging creativity. The creative solutions that the Inner Child can come up with are incredible sometimes – e.g. turning a narcissistic spouse into an octopus and safely putting them in a tank of water to stop them putting their “energy tentacles” into the client!
So it’s not so much that Inner Child gets healing, it’s that s/he helps with what the client needs healing and my job is to hold a safe space, listen and encourage the child’s creativity. Adding Angels to work with the Inner Child adds an extra layer of love, safety and gentle power to the healing work.
If you’d like to learn how to connect with and use the healing wisdom of your Inner Child and Angels, I’m running a one-day workshop at The Mantra Rooms in Chandlers Ford on 24th June. The event details are here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/connect-with-your-angels-and-inner-child-tickets-34596937371
Early bird tickets of just £33 (plus Eventbrite fees) are available until the end of May. Usual ticket price is £44 (plus fees).