What if all of the darker emotions had vital messages for us?

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What if envy had a vital message?  

 What if all of the darker emotions like rage, shame, anger even hatred had vital messages for us?  

What if being true to yourself means honouring all of the emotions?

Emotions are metaphorically the element of water within us.  The idea of the 4 Elements appears in many traditions and cultures around the world.  The Kabbalah, Astrology, The Tarot, Native American wisdom – all of these use the idea that we’re made up of the 4 basic elements of earth, water, air and fire.  These 4 elements correspond to different part of our earthly human selves:

Earth – the physical body

Water – the emotions

Air – thoughts and beliefs, the intellect

Fire – our creativity, imagination, intuition and psychic ability 

Having total wellbeing means that all 4 elements are working in harmony with each other and are balanced.  The problem we have in western societies is that the air element tends to overpower all the others.  In many education systems, intellectual achievement is valued over everything else.  But wiser schools and colleges know that creativity (fire), movement in the physical body (earth) and emotional intelligence (water) are just as vital to our overall intelligence as pure academic work is.

And the problem in a lot of spiritual circles is that there’s a jump from air to fire without the grounding and wisdom of water and earth.  It’s what leads to spiritual by-passing and stopping legitimate expression of emotion that leads to being wholly human and to fully healing deep wounds.

The Deeper Wisdom Of Darker Emotion

The darker emotions (water) like envy, anger, fear and shame are only darker because we rarely bring them into the light of awareness.  But when we take the time to listen to their messages, they can give us invaluable insights to navigate whatever we’re facing and find the truth of it.  The deeper truth is always healing.

Whenever I feel one of the darker emotions come up, my first place to look it up is Karla McLaren’s excellent book “The Language of Emotions”.   And her incredible research and experience will always guide me home.  

Emotions are responses to our environment – both the external environment (around our physical bodies) and in response to our internal beliefs and thoughts.  When we get the thinking parts of our minds to connect up with and work with the emotional parts of our minds, we get more control over our state and can move through problems and issues with more ease.  Life is richer and fuller.  The elements of air and water work together in harmony.

But when the thinking part of the mind is cut off from the emotions, we can buy into collective thinking and ideas that stunt our own development and keep us small or even deluded about the effects of what we’re doing.  

For example, the collective idea that emotions are primitive and dumb and should never be on show became a collective belief about emotions.   Living from this intellect-centred view shuts off a vital part of ourselves that brings integrity to our whole systems.  We have the evidence of what a lack of emotion does to us – humans can commit unspeakable acts of violence and cruelty when there is no regulation from emotions, such as in the case of some psychopaths, sociopaths and extreme narcissists.  

On a smaller level, in dealing with our own unconscious racism and prejudices, feeling shame is a gateway to having the kind of empathy that lets us really hear the stories of people experiencing our unconscious racism.  Then we can really make the kinds of changes that usher in a fairer world. 

An Example of Going Deeper into Envy

When I’ve noticed my own envy coming up about other people’s business successes, following the feelings of envy lead to far greater insight and far deeper healing.  Karla (the author of The Language of Emotions) differentiates between jealousy and envy.  She says that jealousy is about unfaithfulness or deceit in close relationships whereas envy is about “unfair distribution of resources or recognition”.  In my struggling days in my business, boy, oh boy did that resonate for me!  “Why do all these other business owners get to have thriving businesses (i.e. good income) and recognition when I’m struggling?”  The clue to answering this question my mind invented is in Karla’s empathic practice for dealing with envy:

Discern whether you’re responding to disloyalty and unfairness in others or to your own lack of self-regard and worthiness.  In either case, restore your boundaries first; then listen to your intuition and honor the anger and fear inside…envy.

The Language of Emotions, p.263

What an insight!  My envy was really about my own lack of self- regard and worthiness and it’s OK to feel that and to acknowledge it.  The inner work was to dive into it and see what guidance my intuition had for me.  Karla has another gem of an explanation of diving into envy:

When your envy is welcomed and channelled honorably, it will help you uncover unhealed issues and traumas that continue to haunt your present-day behavior.  p.276

When I did deep dive into it, sure enough, there was an unhealed trauma and belief about being abandoned.  Eventually when I dug even deeper after experiencing lots of the “darker” emotions like rage, shame, envy and even terror, I uncovered my deepest wound that was holding everything back so it could finally be returned to love.  The darker emotions were allies to help me safely go into the depths of the wound AND to be careful about who I kept close during that vulnerable healing journey.  

Don’t Pathologise Emotion – Instead Trust The Deeper Message

By taking the time to stop, listen in and honour the insights that come from the water and earth elements (the emotions and the body), it brings us into the present moment, it brings deep acceptance of life and it helps to honour all the variety and diversity of life experiences that we all have.  It helps create good boundaries between us so we can fully honour each others’ uniqueness.

And honouring that uniqueness brings richness and depth to life’s experiences.

So next time you feel one of those darker emotions, don’t pathologise it or think there’s something wrong with you.  Trust that the healthy water element in you has something important for you to notice.  Don’t rush it, give the water element space to flow and bring through it deep messages.  

If you need help, it’s wise to choose a practitioner that you feel safe with and that can demonstrate that they’ve done this deeper work themselves.  Trust that your subconscious mind will keep you safe and your intuition will help guide you to the right person for you.  And definitely get your hands on Karla’s incredible book or her insight-packed free articles on her blog. 

What Can Hypnotherapy Do For You?

My new certificate in hypnotherapy received on 20th January under the full moon <3

I’ve just qualified after 5 months of training in hypnotherapy formally. I was actually starting to work in hypnosis with my clients and found it was getting the best results to get clients to use their imagination to solve problems with my guidance. Now I’ve sharpened up my skills and have a bigger toolkit.

So how can it help you?

Well, hypnosis and hypnotherapy are fascinating processes that can work really well alongside spiritual healing. You might think of hypnotherapy as helping with problems like weight management, stopping smoking and anxiety or depression. But there’s more that hypnotherapy can do. If you know about The Law of Attraction teachings and manifesting, hypnotherapy can help uncover and change deep blocks to manifesting the life of your dreams too.

Blocks to Manifesting Dreams

To give you an example, during the training, I underwent really deep processes myself to help feel what they’re like for a client. Over the last few years, it’s felt like my life has been really held back and dragged back. No matter how many affirmations or healing sessions or inner work I did, or however many courses or coaches I invested in, that “held back feeling” just wasn’t shifting.

I knew I wasn’t expressing the whole of who I am. I knew I should really be more successful than I was and I tried everything to make it happen. Even my teacher was puzzled as to why I wasn’t more successful because I am bloody good at what I do. But those blocks were DEEP and they weren’t going to go without the depth of hypnotherapy. Energy healing went a long way to opening the door to finding my blocks to creating what I wanted, and then it was hypnotherapy that got to the root cause of the blocks to actually break them down. And I think the same will be true for many other natural healers. We’ve been healers since we were born and as healers, the first people we worked with were our families. Our healing skills got hidden in family dynamics as we tried to help our family members feel better.

My blocks were partially from trying to make my family feel better and partially from the helplessness of being an emotional child who didn’t feel understood. As a child, I had a “good girl” exterior but underneath it was a defiant streak! That defiant streak along with being a misery hoover for other people lead to that “stuck” and “held back” feeling that I was experiencing. My book writing is flying now after years of trying to get it down and I can see how my thoughts, actions and expectations had been holding me back in my business, in my life, in my book writing and in my relationships. I’m more assertive and comfortable asking for what I need and want without getting whingy or bitchy like I could do before (like a defiant child not trusting that she will get what she wants and needs, AND resenting that she’s carrying everyone else’s emotional baggage!)

Others who’ve been around me for a few years are noticing the shift in revealing my true self more and more as a result of the hypnotherapy work. I can see how I was trying to present a certain image of myself online that was more what I hoped other people would like and appreciate. But now I’m much more confident being really honest and showing up fully.

Life Improvements

And it’s not just me who’s benefitted. People with long-standing problems are finding relief and feeling so much better from the hypnotic tools I’ve been using. From people feeling miserable and down for years, to people who’ve had physical pain and discomfort eased in just one session.

So hypnotherapy can help with such a vast range of problems, it’s amazing. It usually goes back to thought patterns and behaviours that were created in early childhood – even physical problems can come from that too. Once you know how to unlock the subconscious mind and work with it, you see how it’s always been trying to help you. And it just needs a bit of help to change what it’s doing. And that change can happen fast.

If you’d like to chat with me about how I can help you or if my story resonates with you, do get in touch with me. You can contact me on jacqui@jacquimcginn.com or book yourself a free discovery session here: https://jacquimcginn.as.me/peacediscovery

Connecting With The Inner Child

November 2008, on a psychic development workshop right by Mount Fuji, I set the intention to do Inner Child Healing.  After I said my intention out loud, my teacher saw an angel carrying a child flow right through my body.  And what a ride it’s been since then!

When you set powerful intentions like that, you get everything you need to make it happen.  Inner Child Healing is a beautiful, gentle and yet powerful way to reconnect with your true self.  And what we’re really doing is simply listening to the Inner Child’s needs and meeting them.  They’re usually very simple needs like space to be creative, to be heard, to play or have fun.  Children live in the moment and can be great spiritual teachers and the same goes for your Inner Child.  They may be small but they are equally as wise as any adult and a great ally in bringing about a greater sense of wellbeing and happiness.

My Inner Child Healing training has come from a combination of taking courses, studying and mostly the life experiences that have come.  In particular, working in nurseries has meant that I’ve worked with some of the best childcare practitioners in the area to see how they get the best out of children.

The way I work with the Inner Child is to make sure my client feels relaxed and at ease, then go into a theta state where we can access the unconscious mind and spiritual guidance, and then I “see” or “sense” the client’s Inner Child.  S/he will communicate with me and I interact with him or her like a nursery practitioner – reassuringly,  asking questions and encouraging creativity.  The creative solutions that the Inner Child can come up with are incredible sometimes – e.g. turning a narcissistic spouse into an octopus and safely putting them in a tank of water to stop them putting their “energy tentacles” into the client!

So it’s not so much that Inner Child gets healing, it’s that s/he helps with what the client needs healing and my job is to hold a safe space, listen and encourage the child’s creativity.  Adding Angels to work with the Inner Child adds an extra layer of love, safety and gentle power to the healing work.

If you’d like to learn how to connect with and use the healing wisdom of your Inner Child and Angels, I’m running a one-day workshop at The Mantra Rooms in Chandlers Ford on 24th June.  The event details are here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/connect-with-your-angels-and-inner-child-tickets-34596937371

Early bird tickets of just £33 (plus Eventbrite fees) are available until the end of May.  Usual ticket price is £44 (plus fees).

Inner Child Healing in a New Way

Yesterday

Denise Linn’s Soul Coaching Oracle Cards – Sanctuary

was a day of remembering that I love Inner Child work.  Our childhoods have such a far reaching influence on our lives, that this little person still inside us needs care and attention as much as anyone does.  But yesterday Inner Child Healing went in a fascinating new direction.

Learning is Power

As a teacher, I believe in the power of learning and of teaching people skills to become independent.  I’ve never wanted to be the kind of healer that people come to again and again to “fix” problems.  I always want to teach self-healing skills alongside my healing sessions.  But many of us weren’t empowered as children and our voices weren’t heard.  We had to follow the rules and listen to authority figures.  In the process we lost touch with our own guidance and intuition.  It got squashed by following the authority figures in our lives.  Times are changing and the trend in childcare is for learning to be child-led and with far greater understanding of normal child behaviour and development.  But for those of us who didn’t receive this kind of nursery education, our Inner Child is dying to be heard.

Power of the Imagination

I use what Carl Jung would call “Active Imagination” in healing sessions.  My clients’ unconscious minds show me symbols of what’s going on and I get guidance from spiritual guides and the creator on how best to help the client move forward.  My job is to ask for healing and witness it – the mind is so powerful that using the imagination in this way really can help people feel better.  But a fascinating process unfolded with a client on my narcissism programme recently.  Usually I follow the guidance and use active imagination to witness the healing happen but on this occasion, I had to sit back and guide the Inner Child to do the healing herself once I’d asked for it.  Just like a nursery school teacher would, I was prompting the child to come up with solutions to the problems we were seeing.  And wow, was it effective!  The Inner Child felt heard and more confident and the problems went away quickly and in a light, game-like way.

Everyone is Unique

I have no idea whether this technique will be needed again.  Each session is best when it’s tailored to what the client needs and that’s the fun of working  in this way.  As long as we’ve set an intention for where we want to be, the unconscious mind and spiritual guidance will work together to get us there somehow.  It’s such a fascinating process and it unfolds differently for different people.

Why not give this technique a try next time you have a problem?  Set the intention to solve the problem, connect with your Inner Child  in your imagination and prompt him or her to find creative solutions to it.  Let me know how you get on if you try it!  My contact details are to the left 🙂