How I Healed My Facebook Addiction

I knew energy healing could help with all kinds of issues but I didn’t know it could help with addictions.  In my practice I choose to focus on emotional issues rather than the physical illness that you usually think of with healing.   But recently I played about with new techniques I learned and discovered how to cut an addiction.  I thought I’d share the inside story.

I was a pretty heavy Facebook user but since using a cool technique to get to the root of it, I’ve become a light user and the difference to my energy has been fab.  Every day Facebook is full of different opinions, snapshots of the good bits of life, adverts targeted to tempt you.  Don’t get me wrong, I do love Facebook and it’s been an awesome tool for connecting with people and staying connected, but like anything that becomes an addition – it’s masking something deeper going on.  Any addiction is the ego’s way of avoiding facing some truth.  It was time to face my truth.

Fate Intervenes

I was asking the universe and angels for help to cut my Facebook usage for months.  Then one day fate intervened and I knew this was my chance.  Facebook put me on their naughty step and banned me from reacting to stories for a week. No likes, loves, ha-has, sad faces, wows or angry faces.  I don’t really know why, because I hadn’t liked any more than usual.  I could post and comment but just not react to anything.  Weird!

As part of my punishment, Facebook logged me out of every device – computer, iPad and iPhone.  I had to login on my computer, go through a verification check and change my password.  So my first step on the road to healthier Facebook use was to delete the app from my phone.   I knew if I let time elapse, I’d never remember the new password and wouldn’t be able to login to the app even if I downloaded it again!  So this space away from temptation helped me to do the deeper work of uncovering the source of the problem.

Energy Cords

Next I explored whether I had a negative energy cord to Facebook.  It’s difficult for the logical mind to grasp the idea of energy cords.  But energy cords connect us for better or worse to things we do and don’t want in our lives.  Negative cords drag your energy down and positive cords lift you up.  You can have cords to people, ideas and anything that you’re addicted to or anything that boost you.  There’s a classic cord-cutting procedure where you go to a relaxed place and call in Archangel Michael to cut them.  I’d done that a few times but it didn’t seem to last.

Unless you get to the root of why you let the cord form in the first place, it’s highly likely to come back.  That’s where this book came to the rescue:

Denise Linn has encyclopaedic knowledge of all things energy and space clearing.  “Energy Strands” answered questions I didn’t even know I had!

Denise has loads of ways to find and cut cords.  The one that resonates with me is using a pendulum.  You can ask the pendulum yes or no questions to find information about the cord, then you can use the pendulum to cut it.  My pendulum said “no” to me having a negative cord to Facebook – good news!  But I had a negative cord to technology and that was at the root of the addiction.

The key to permanently releasing the cord is finding out what the payoff for it is. My negative cord to technology got set up during a period of unrequited love.  I was checking and checking my email and texts (it was 2003, so it was pre-Facebook) for any sign of interest or acknowledgement.  Every now and then I’d get really romantic, poetic messages that made me feel amazing and special but they were few and far between.  I handed over my power to technology for the occasional dopamine hit of an text or email from this love interest.

Cutting the Cord

I’ve changed a lot since that time and I don’t tend to give away my power to anyone else to help me feel good now.  But there’s always stuff in the past that keeps our unhealthy patterns and addictions in place.  Finding the source of it – like this time in the past – means your own natural healing abilities can kick in to leave it in the past.  Once I’d journaled on all the stuff that came up from the past, I asked the pendulum if I was ready to cut the cord and got a “yes”.

To actually cut the cord, I held the pendulum at the top where it could swing freely.  Then I held it level with the top of my head at arms length and gradually lowered it with the intention to cut the cord.  As I moved it down my energy field, I could feel the energy in my chakras moving and shifting.  Doing the exploration work first was the key to bringing on this shift in energy.  My unconscious mind knew where the source of the problem was and that meant it could heal it.

It felt much lighter after I did that but I noticed I was still using other social media too much.  So I had another explore and found one more cord to be cut – I had one to my phone itself.  This one was far more superficial and from my ego!  By looking busy on my phone, I look popular and successful to other people around, so I can get their acceptance and respect.  The ego does have it’s funny ways of trying to get love and attention out of people!

Life with Less Facebook

I find Facebook is the easiest social media platform to fall down a rabbit hole in – the endless videos plays, the articles, the anticipation of responses to what you post.  Twitter and Instagram seem less addictive somehow.

It’s meant that I’m more focused on my business page and can keep track of it more easily.  I’m not a social media marketing queen (far from it!) but having a little more space in my mind to think about what I’m actually posting is really helpful.  There’s more space in my head and heart and my focus has improved.

Of course, this was only a mild addiction and I’m a pretty self-aware person, so it was pretty easy to shift.  But it does help to develop more compassion for people who have more severe addictions.  If you have to face the pain underneath the addiction to stop destructive behaviour, you need courage and you need strength.  In my work now, I work with people who’ve been through narcissistic relationships.  Narcissists are people who are addicted to feeling special.  For the most part, they’re not intentionally trying to hurt or destroy people around, they just don’t have healthy ways to cope with the underlying pain.  It doesn’t mean that we should stick around and let ourselves be treated badly, but it does mean it’s easier to forgive when you understand your own unhealthy patterns of addiction.  Every single one of us in the western world has shadows that we’re hiding from.

Summary of the Steps

So here’s a summary of the steps you can go through to cut your own cords.

  1. Ask the angels/universe/creator for help with a problem and trust what you get
  2. Ask your intuition whether you have a negative cord to an aspect of the problem
  3. Explore your reasons for having the cord.  What’s the psychological pay off for keeping this problem in your life?
  4. When you’re unearthed the reason for it, choose a cord cutting method such as a meditation with Archangel Michael to use his sword or a pendulum
  5. See how things change
  6. If you notice the problem is still there, have another explore of what else you were corded to.
  7. Find the underlying reasons for it.
  8. Enjoy your new freedom!

Fancy Exploring More?

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Messages From The Other Side

Twice today I’ve had the same message – someone who’s passed on is trying to help people who are still alive to finish a creative project.

The first message came about the late Debbie Ford.  She passed away 5 years ago and I wrote about her message of embracing the shadow pieces of ourselves in my last blog post: The Shadow’s Gifts.

According to a post on Facebook by the head of Hay House UK, Debbie wrote a book before she died about standing in your holiness, connected to your spiritual self.  Her sister, Arielle Ford visited a medium and got a message about this book. Debbie’s assistant knew what the book was immediately and found it on Debbie’s hard drive.  The book is now being published by Hay House!

The second message came through a TV programme.  I was planning to get back to work when I got into watching “Medium” – a drama about the crime-solving life of psychic Allison Dubois.  I heard a voice telling me to carry on watching it, so I did.  At the end of the episode, Allison’s daughters helped a man who’d passed to share the end of a song with his musician song.

So twice in one day I’ve got the rather extraordinary message of being living people being helped to produce something creative by their deceased loved ones.

I have no idea what this means for me at the moment, but I do feel a bit emotional thinking about it, so I know there’s something.  Maybe my deceased loved ones are helping me with my book writing.  Maybe it’s telling me they’ve already been helping me – especially my dad.  Who knows?  I love that a voice was telling me to watch the episode to receive the message.

What beautiful affirmations that there’s life after death. There’s so much more to us than what our 5 senses can pick up <3


The Shadow’s Gifts

The Shadow
Photo by Jaanus Jagomägi on Unsplash

My shadow came out.

It wasn’t pretty.

The shadow is the all the parts of ourselves that we’ve decided are unacceptable and try to stuff down out of our awareness.  But the shadow is a tricky bugger and sooner or later it will blast out from our constraints.  The late Debbie Ford called this the “beach ball effect”.  Each piece of ourselves that we try to suppress is like a beachball held under water – it takes huge amounts of energy to keep it there.  And one day when we’re tired or exhausted or stressed out and we can’t hold all of the beachballs down, they will shoot up and smack us in the face.

I’ve written this post about my experience and in the first person, but my intention is to help you connect with your own shadow self too and because that can be a daunting, overwhelming and scary idea, I’ve used “I” and “me” instead of “you”.  I do hope that this inspires you to know the gifts in your own shadow and to take a little time to explore what your shadow might be trying to tell you when one of those beach balls pops up and smacks you in the face.

The other night my beachballs smacked me in the face.  A good hint to the shadow is something that we’re really proud of in ourselves.  I’m really proud of the patience I’ve developed.  I’m really proud of the compassion I’ve developed.  I’m really proud of my ability to hold sacred space for emotional truth.   All of these really help me create the kind of space that allows for deep healing and coaching to happen.

But it’s a truth that just like yin contains yang and yang contains yin, for each element of myself that I’m proud of, I also carry the opposite in my shadow.  So my lack of patience and lack of compassion and lack of sacred space and lack of emotional truth shot out from my psyche and had me become a shouty, mean bitch.   The polar opposite of what I am in my sessions with clients.  Oops!!

And actually, that’s a good thing.  Shouty mean bitch Jacqui was probably suffocating under water and needed some air.  She’s also helping me to realise some deep and uncomfortable truths about myself and how I’ve been sabotaging my success.  And besides, she’s there all the time in the sacred space I create anyway, so inviting her wisdom in means she can add depth and help support the sacred space I like to create.

A Matter of Time

The shouty mean bitchiness came from being totally fed up of having my time wasted and messed about by someone else.   Now I know the signs that I’m in my shadow – I can’t feel my body, I’m in my head, I’m blaming someone else…  if I start trying to sort out and talk through any problems from that space, I’m not going to get very far.  Do you fancy trying to sort out a problem with someone who is blaming you alone for it?  Nah, didn’t think so!  While I’m in that blaming space, I’m being a victim, so I will cast others in roles that keep me as the powerless victim.

I knew that my own sense of  “urgh” and disconnection between my head and body meant that I had some investigative work to do to get out of victim mode.  The other day I was chatting to a colleague about the time problem that had triggered my mean, shouty bitch self.  As me and my colleague talked, we both started realising that our relationship to time was off.  We have an abundance of time and there are so many things that we could do each day to help our businesses, but we end up wasting loads of time on social media and let other people take our time from us.  We both admitted that we’re allowing people to take time from us.

So, we both vowed to explore what was going on with this time stuff and share with each other what we learned.  I found this interesting article on time on the Psychology Today website.  I felt pangs of discomfort and as I read and realised that basically, my wasting time is a disempowering choice I’m making.  It’s an unconscious sabotage to keep things as they are and not step into my light and my true power.  It’s fear and survival based living rather than love and abundance based living.

I need to take back my power, clear up any beliefs or emotions keeping me stuck in powerless victim mode and own my moment-to-moment choices about what I do.  I can dream big and create big visions about the future, but I have to commit moment by moment, piece by piece to making those dreams and visions a reality.

Valuable Pieces of Peace

It’s all valuable material for the book I’m writing and philosophy I’m (kind of) creating and living.   When I say “kind of creating”, it’s because I’m not really creating it, it’s an idea from somewhere in the ether working its way into my consciousness.  If you’ve ever read “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert, it’s like the way she describes the mysterious way ideas choose a human to come through.

The idea that chose me is called “Pieces to Peace” and the intention behind it is to help people recognise the value of each piece of themselves and the vital roles each person plays towards creating peace in our communities and globally.  Each of us is a vital piece of a greater whole.  Embracing the shadow is an important part of the philosophy because we often see our own shadows in other people and then think the person we’re projecting our shadow onto is the scum of the earth who should be destroyed – you can see how that kinda messes up peace, can’t you?  Not only that but when we stop projecting the shadow onto others and look inside ourselves to find its message, we can find it leads us to valuable gifts, blessings and realisations.

Mean, shouty bitchface Jacqui was simply trying to get my attention about how I’m spending my moments of time.  She yelled at my partner but it was really me that she was yelling at.  Like trying to shake me awake to see what I’m doing with the precious pieces of my life – the moments of each day.  I’ve been throwing away so many precious moments where I could let myself feel more alive and feel more connected to source energy and be more present.

If that piece of my shadow hadn’t popped up and smacked me in the face, I’d continue to throw away valuable pieces of my life each day.  It’s me and me alone who choose the quality of the moment.  The truth is that I’m 100% responsible for how I choose to be in each piece or moment of my life.

And so are you.  So how are you spending the precious moments of your life?  Are you fully present or do you let others take your time?  <3

Exploring Pieces to Peace More

In my explorations of this Pieces to Peace idea, a beautiful meditation process came to me.  It helps you to accept all the pieces of yourself by seeing them as a beautiful mosaic and holding that mosaic in your heart space.  The meditation then invites you to heal a difficult relationship you’ve experienced by seeing the other person in the same way.  The meditation is a free gift to subscribers of my mailing list and you can access it on this page: Get Your Free Relationship Healing Meditation.